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I should let this go, because it’s not like I have anything to offer in its place—even if every other obstacle was removed, it’s never going to be okay for me to be with her.
But why? What obstacles are there that can’t be overcome? I hate when people make stupid decisions for plot convenience.
Okay, now shes becoming intolerably stupid. How many more signs does she need to realize this marriage is a massive mistake? Both she and Nick are withholding physical contact with their significant others. They only want to spend time together. And yet somehow, we’re still all pretending that these other relationships are solid? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
We sit in silence for a moment, and I let myself picture an entire life like this, one in which all the beautiful and painful things in the world are shared with someone else, someone who feels them and sees them like I do. My eyes squeeze tight. I wish I could have that. I wish he was mine.
But you can have that. You choose not to.
What keeps me here, refusing to take what I want most in the world, is a truth it seems I’ve always known, one proven to me as a child: something dangerous lurks inside me, and it would only take loving someone too much to set it free.
WTF does this even mean?
He broke up with Meg, but there will be someone to replace her eventually. Even if I choose him, there will be someone else eventually anyway, thanks to the tumor. And that thought makes me want to run from all this now, before it hurts even more.
Oh my god she is so stupid. You wont get with him because he might get with somene else if you die?
