How to Keep House While Drowning

by K.C. Davis

“thank you for your concern, but I am not taking any feedback on this issue right now.”

“The key for me being able to begin to run a functioning home was when I stopped talking to myself the way you are talking to me right now.”

“Forget about creating a routine. You have to focus on finding your rhythm.”

With routines you are either on track or not. With rhythm you can skip a beat and still get back in the groove.

One problem was I was usually in the middle of doing something when I was noticing some care tasks that were “ready” to be addressed,

I felt like I was constantly being pulled in a bunch of different directions and never actually having a home that functioned.

I’ve learned that I do well with daily and weekly rhythms. So I started doing laundry every Monday even when there were still clean clothes left, washing the sheets every Thursday even if they weren’t “too dirty,” and running my dishwasher every night even if it wasn’t full. Sure, I was doing things a little more often or at times less often than they “should” be done, but who cares? The best way to do something is the way it gets done.

I came up with rituals that outlined exactly what I was to do in a room and exactly in what order.

By virtually eliminating the decision-making of where to start or what to do next I can move from task to task with virtually no time in between. The momentum it creates circumvents a lot of executive functioning issues I experience.

When you want to introduce some new habits or systems into your home to make things a bit more functional, don’t shoot for the moon. Go for the closest to what you’re already doing with a little bit of increased function.

If a system never becomes easy or automatic for you, then it just means either the system isn’t the right one for you or you need more tips and tools

I’ve also come to realize that anything that creates momentum is a win.

When I started putting those slippers next to my bed at night it made those few morning minutes so pleasant that I actually felt an organic motivation to do it again the next night.

motivation builds motivation. We are learning to flex the muscles of motivation and rhythm and ritual.

a simple plan to keep a space livable is better than an overwhelming plan to keep a space perfect. One of the easiest ways to do this is to look at one space in your home you would like to keep livable.

Think of four to six tasks that, if they were done every week, would make that space very livable.

For example, let’s say I look around my bedroom and decide that (1) if the cups and dishes were taken out, (2) if the sheets were changed, (3) if the laundry was thrown into the washer and started, and (4) if trash was thrown away and taken out, it would be a very livable space.

This list is here to serve me; I do not serve this list. This schedule is here to make my life easier, not to make it harder. The schedule isn’t for telling me what I must do or reminding me about what I haven’t done. The way it serves me each day is by taking the burden of decision-making away.

Missing days is morally neutral.

I do not have to complete the whole task.

For larger household maintenance, choose between six and twelve tasks (you may want some tasks to be done twice a year).

Assign each task a month.