How to Keep House While Drowning

by K.C. Davis

Climate change is real. Environmentalism is important. But we are not going to fix the earth by shaming people with mental health and neurodiverse needs out of adaptive routines they need to function. Take that energy to Congress. Those who feel anger at someone with clinical depression or ADHD for not engaging in eco-optimal behaviors are seriously deluded.

an old parenting hack is to layer multiple sheets and mattress protectors onto a kid’s mattress so that middle-of-the-night accidents are easy to address. Despite knowing this trick, many parents who struggle with getting their own bedsheets changed don’t think to try it on themselves. The mattress protector will prevent dirt and sweat from reaching the sheets underneath so you can just pull off the layer and have a clean sheet already on the bed. Even if you do not have or cannot afford multiple mattress covers, layering your sheets onto the bed is a valid way to care for yourself. Getting a new sheet that may have a little bit of sweat on it is more functional than never changing your old sheet. Elevating your functioning is always a good thing. You deserve clean sheets.

Rest is hard for a lot of people because they have conflated “doing nothing” or being unproductive with being lazy.

Remember, laziness doesn’t exist.

It’s not about getting permission; it’s about giving respect.

“Forget about creating a routine. You have to focus on finding your rhythm.”

Then I learned to work with my brain instead of against it. I came up with rituals that outlined exactly what I was to do in a room and exactly in what order. My Five Things Tidying Method is one such ritual. Closing duties is another. This allows me to hyperfocus on whatever list item I’m on like I’m on SEAL Team 6 or a character in a video game. There are all sorts of silly games I play with myself. Sometimes I narrate in my head like I’m a world-renowned cleaning expert and everyone is watching me on television. This lets me block out everything else and gives me a way forward so my brain can go on autopilot. By virtually eliminating the decision-making of where to start or what to do next I can move from task to task with virtually no time in between. The momentum it creates circumvents a lot of executive functioning issues I experience.

These days, I find myself doing five minutes here and ten minutes there of the most low-impact exercise I can manage and instead of that being a failure in my eyes because it’s not enough to produce weight loss it has been a success because I know every minute is giving my body and mind a functional benefit.

The key is to embrace that idea that there is no finish line of worthiness. You are worthy now. There is only increased function ahead. And it’s going to be wonderful.

The key is that while doing them is a way of taking care of tomorrow you, sometimes not doing them is a way of taking care of right now you.

If I sit down and relax first, it becomes very difficult to get up again. Butting your closing duties up against another activity where you are already up can be key.

I realized that I only ever wanted to be skinny because I wanted to be loved and happy. But I already have that. Skinny hasn’t seemed very important to me since then.