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Kindle Notes & Highlights
(1) trash, (2) dishes, (3) laundry, (4) things that have a place and are not in their place, and (5) things that do not have a place.
Focus on these things in this order. If it takes you three days to do trash, that's okay. But don't start on the other things until you've finished the previous one.
I’m not anti-donation, I’m just pro-realism and pro-accessibility.
If it hasn't happened yet, it won't. Just throw it away.
Organization means having a place for everything in your home and having a system for getting it there.
Organized is not the same as tidy. Things do not have to look nice so long as they are functional and work for you.
An Ode to Baskets
Get baskets and trays!!
“I didn’t get on the bike yesterday for five minutes even though I do want to get on the bike. This tells me that five minutes was too big of a goal. I wonder if I could get on for three minutes?”
If you're not meeting a goal, lower the threshold. If 5 minutes is too unobtainable, try 3 instead.
Set timers. You are only obligated to do that amount. If you keep going, great! If not, that's okay too.
visual timer
Not everything has to be clean at the same time.
If your laundry is done, maybe there are dishes in the sink. If the dishes are done, maybe the floors are dirty. That's okay!
it will look like that again tomorrow only if I clean it today.
Although men may struggle with completing care tasks, they are less likely to receive the message from society that they are not worthy of love or not valid as a human if they are not good at these tasks.
Does all laundry really need to be folded?
Does laundry have to be put away?
Pick out a week’s worth of clothing to launder and pack everything else away in bags or Rubbermaid bins until a time when you can deal with it.
Pick out only the clothes you like to wear. If it doesn't bring you joy, get rid of it (at least for now).
you are not responsible for saving the world if you are struggling to save yourself. If you must use paper plates for meals or throw away recycling in order to gain better functioning, you should do so.
This!! This goes along with the donation thing - just throw it away!
The truth is that it’s not waste if you are using something to function.
Do not worry about being "wasteful" if you are struggling. Environmental conservation rules are based on what a healthy person needs to function.
Take your dishes out of the sink and stack them into categories:
If you get through those five minutes and decide you’re done then although you still have dirty dishes, you now have a clean sink, and a clean sink is functional.
Some days I managed to unload it first; others I simply shoved the dirty dishes in with the clean ones and ran it all again.
It's okay to run it twice or to take out the bare minimum to function.
You do not need to have children for your struggles with care tasks to be valid.
Disposable wisps, flossers, and pre-pasted toothbrushes are all available and can be put into your bag, on your bedside, and in your car.
Swishing your mouth with some Listerine can kill some bacteria in your mouth when you cannot get any brushing done.
Remember that anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.
“I am allowed to be human.”
I am only human and that includes all of the messiness that comes with.
So while doing a pile of laundry may feel like an accomplishment, it is valid to launder three pairs of underwear as a form of self-care. You have full permission to do a little, do it with shortcuts, and do the bare minimum.
You do not have to do it all. It is okay to half ass things.
What does help is to just let yourself move as slowly as you need to.
Don't push yourself. Just focus on getting going.
The best way to do something is the way it gets done.
Don't worry about doing things the "right" way. Worry about getting it done at all.
This list is here to serve me; I do not serve this list.
Do not feel bad for not finishing the list. It is not judging you and neither should you.
I do not have to complete the whole task.
When I realized it was the tiresome interruptions I hated,
When you realize something isn't getting done, reflect on the barriers you are facing and brainstorm ways to lower or remove those barriers.
It only takes about thirty minutes to do these little closing duties, but I know it’s going to make future KC have an easier time functioning tomorrow.
This could be washing the big pan (and other big dishes I only have one of). Loading the dirtys from that day into the dishwasher and starting it (if you just take out enough clean ones to fit them, that's okay!)
Here is what to do if you find yourself not doing your closing duties list: (1) Make a shorter list.
We'll start with - wash the pan. That's it. Then we'll move on to wash the pan and load the dishwasher.
How much of your laundry really needs to be folded?
Not all of it! In fact, not even most of it.
Getting a drying rack just for dirty dishes can mean that when it comes time to wash them or load them into the dishwasher you feel less overwhelmed.
The key is to put the basket where you are already making messes.
Baskets baskets baskets!
