Forever After All

by Catharina Maura

Give it time. Give him time. The best things in life are worth waiting for.”

“I told you, didn’t I? You let her go, you’ll regret it.”

I’d spend hours with Matthew and all you ever did was ask me if something was going on. But Elena? I saw you two on the day you proposed to her. She was talking to some guy and even though it was clear that she wasn’t remotely interested in him, you lost it. You lost your composure.”

mirthlessly.

You loved the idea of me, but you never even truly knew me. Nor did Matthew, for that matter—maybe that’ll make you feel a little better. He was just using me as a pawn against you. He was playing some sort of fucked up game that you aren’t even aware of.”

I know how hard it is for you to love. I know, Alexander, because throughout our entire relationship I did all I could to pierce the armor that surrounds your heart, and I failed. But Elena? She did it without even trying.”

So please, go after that happiness before it’s too late. I lost my chance. Don’t lose yours.”

I’ll never let you go.” She looks sorrowful as she tears her gaze away. “You already have,” she says, her voice breaking. Elena walks out, the door slamming closed behind her.

Elena has had a tough life so far. She deserves to be loved, to be spoiled. She deserves to be swept off her feet. And you… you can’t give her what she needs, can you?”

I promised myself I wouldn’t approach you. I was going to let you go, Elena. I wanted you to have everything I knew I could never give you.”

The three best things to have happened in my entire life were meeting you, marrying you… and falling in love with you.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever be what you need. All I know is that I love you. I would rather spend a year with you than a lifetime without you. I’m willing to give you everything, Elena. I’m willing to give you my heart, and trust that you won’t break it. But even if you do, baby, even if you tear my heart apart, you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

I need you to be sure. I need you to promise me forever. I need you to tell me you’ll be mine, heart and soul, that you’ll love me until we’re gray and old. If you can’t do that, then please, just walk away. Walk away before you shatter what remains of my heart.”

I swear to you, Elena. I’ll love you till the day I die, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I promise you all of me, forever.”

Tell me you’ll marry me. I want it all. The whole wedding ceremony, everything.

You were going to let me go. You didn’t want me until you thought someone else did. You don’t want me, Alec, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either. That’s not love. It just isn’t.”

You’re my entire goddamn world, baby. You’re everything to me. My life hasn’t been the same since you walked back into it. Fuck, I don’t want it to be. I want you. I can’t live without you anymore—I need you, baby. I need your smiles, your hugs, your wit. I need you.”

I deserve more, Alec. I deserve everything I’ve given you. I’m done settling for less, and I’m done telling myself that I need to be happy with the few scraps of affection people throw my way. I’m done with you.”

TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOVED IT? BELIEVE ME I COULD DO ITTTTT

The three best things that happened today were the following: 1. Catching you sneak a glimpse at me from your bedroom window this morning 2. Writing you this note. It makes me feel like I still get to talk to you, even though you blocked me everywhere. Seriously, baby, unblock me. I miss you. 3. Loving you. Spending my days loving you makes every day great by default

All I want to do is take you on a date. Just one. You think I didn’t want you until I thought I’d lose you to someone else, but that isn’t true. The only reason I ever even remotely considered letting you go was because you deserve the world, Elena. You deserve more than I can give you. I will never be good enough for you, baby. A better man would have walked away by now, but I never claimed to be a good man. All I claim to be is yours.

She leans into me, her chest pressed against mine, and she still fits into my arms so perfectly. How could this woman not be made for me?

I’m at a loss here. I love you. I love you with my entire fucked up heart. I love you, okay? Does it hurt to know you’ve been with someone else when you’re the only thing I can think of? Yes. It fucking does. You cheated on me by going on that date and whatever the fuck else you’ve done, because whether you like it or not, you’re still my goddamn wife. Despite that, I’d take you back in a fucking second, because I fucking love you!”

Above all, I want you to be happy. I won’t be selfish with you, no matter how badly I want to. I won’t chain you to me when you chose to leave. You’re not one of my belongings. I can’t decide your fate. I can’t tell you what to do, who to be with. You’ve made your choice, and it wasn’t me. I’ll respect that, Elena. I don’t want to, but I will. You deserve true happiness, you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted. I was never good enough for you, and I never will be. I’ll do as you asked, Elena. I’ll let you go. It’ll kill me to do it, but I’ll sign the papers. I’ll set you free.”

Fifty-six dates. Elena and I have gone on fifty-six dates since we got back together exactly a year ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her. It took me four months to convince her to move back in with me, and in those four months, every single time that I had to take her home after a date was pure torture.

You made me believe in Forever, after all.

I want forever, with you. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of our lives. I want you to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep, my arms wrapped around you. I want to grow old with you and raise a family with you. I want it all. I want the arguments, the ups and downs life will throw our way. I want it all, and I want it forever.”

Elena, every day you help me see the good in life. You brighten my days, you uplift me, and you do it all without even trying. I didn’t know what happiness was until you walked into my life, forcing emotions out of me I thought were long lost. You’ve shown me what true love is, and I vow to return that love tenfold every day, for as long as I shall live. I promise you forever, Buttercup. I promise you all of me, forever.”

When we ran into each other after so many years, I asked you what you’d wish for if you had one single wish. I can honestly tell you I have no wishes left, because you’ve made them all come true. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you have nothing to wish for either. I will love you forever, Alec.”

Alec leans into me, his lips brushing against my ear. “I love you, Mrs. Kennedy,” he whispers, making my heart skip a beat. I rise to my tiptoes and wrap my arms around him, pulling him in for a kiss. “I love you, too,” I say, breathlessly. Alec grins at me. “Forever?” he asks, and I nod. “Forever.”

I thought you didn’t believe in forever?” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I do, if it’s with you. You’ve got me believing in forever, after all.” Forever with Alec isn’t nearly enough, but it’ll have to do.