Forever After All

by Catharina Maura

Right before I fall asleep, I hear him speak, his voice barely above a whisper. “A new acquisition, the sun streaming in from my office window, and having you in my bed.”

Elena is everything I thought I wanted, but now I find myself wanting to give her everything that she’s refusing to ask for. I want her to rely on me more. I want her to ask me for help. I want her to use every single connection I’ve got to regain everything she’s lost. And that’s where the danger lies… Elena makes me want to give her the world.

“Entire outfit? Isn’t it just a dress? It’s beautiful, by the way.” Elena’s smile drops, and I realize I complimented her dress, but not her. Rookie mistake. “You’re gorgeous, Buttercup. As always.”

I stare at Elena, and I wait for her telltale sign. There it is. She blinks twice. She’s done that whenever she lies ever since she was five, and I doubt she even realizes it.

“Buttercup is also the bravest and the most headstrong,

There’s no shame in loving someone with all your heart, Elena, but that love must be mutual. If you end up giving more of yourself than you get back, you’ll end up a shell of yourself, depleted,

“Honey, a life without love isn’t a life worth living. Besides, you don’t get to choose whether or not you love someone. If only. How much easier would life be if we could just make that choice? Love… it doesn’t listen to reason.”

“I’ve spent my entire life loving people that didn’t love me back. I won’t do it again. I won’t. Not even for you.”

What’s Elena’s favorite color?” “It’s red.” “Favorite food?” “Chocolate chip cookies.”

“You always ask me about three good things that happened during my day, but baby, everything good in my life is you. The three best things to have happened in my entire life were meeting you, marrying you… and falling in love with you.”

All I know is that I love you. I would rather spend a year with you than a lifetime without you. I’m willing to give you everything, Elena. I’m willing to give you my heart, and trust that you won’t break it. But even if you do, baby, even if you tear my heart apart, you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

You’re my entire goddamn world, baby. You’re everything to me. My life hasn’t been the same since you walked back into it. Fuck, I don’t want it to be. I want you. I can’t live without you anymore—I need you, baby. I need your smiles, your hugs, your wit. I need you.”

“Elena, what do you want me to say? I’m at a loss here. I love you. I love you with my entire fucked up heart. I love you, okay? Does it hurt to know you’ve been with someone else when you’re the only thing I can think of? Yes. It fucking does. You cheated on me by going on that date and whatever the fuck else you’ve done, because whether you like it or not, you’re still my goddamn wife. Despite that, I’d take you back in a fucking second, because I fucking love you!”

“I love you, Elena. I don’t even know when it happened. I wanted you to be mine from the second I laid my eyes on you at Inferno. It started off as mere possessiveness, and before I knew it, you had me enthralled. You stole my heart day by day, and I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t realize that you fucking own me, until you left.”