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It’s the heaven I’ve obsessed over and the hell I’ll drag myself through just to feel again.
All I can see is her. All I can feel is the crazed man she’s made me. All I know is that I can’t wait to fucking do it all over again. “Mine,” I murmur against her lips as I breathe her exhale as my next inhale. “Fucking mine.”
I’ve been thinking about being with her for the better part of two months and a quickie in a closet is nowhere near fucking enough of what I want from her. What I need from her. And that should scare the hell out of me. But for some reason it doesn’t. It only makes the desire to have her stronger. And it’s not just the sex. This is where I should be freaked the fuck out. But I’m not.
“Hey, Callahan.” “Yeah.” I stop and look over my shoulder. “For the record, you were exactly what he needed you to be. Don’t ever think anything different.”
I’m just a man, Collins. A man who doesn’t deserve you but wants you anyway.” He shrugs. “The answer is me.”
I just want him. More of him. All of him. Endless amounts of him.
And when I fall asleep, curled up against him in the early hours of the morning, there is only one constant stream of thought. Regret. That I waited this long to do this with him. That our time is limited. That . . . I’ve fallen for him when I know there’s no future. That we have an expiration date.
“You know that, don’t you? What a good man you are? That’s why I’ve fallen for you.” There’s no promise to break with her because I never made one in the first place. Keep telling yourself that, Sharpe. Keep telling yourself that and you might actually believe you’re not falling for her too.
“You’ve waited your whole life to have freedom and wings to fly.” I lean up on my toes and brush a tender kiss to his lips. “Go fly, Callahan.”
“The problem is that I know I’d wait for you. Because you, Callahan Sharpe, are worth waiting for.
I close my eyes and prepare myself for the lie I’m about to tell. For being the chickenshit I’m about to be. For walking away this way instead of a long, drawn-out goodbye, because it hurts too fucking much to be with her and know I won’t be in a few days’ time.
They’re for not being man enough to stay. For not being the man she deserves. For not realizing any of this sooner.
“Maybe one day you’ll fall in love and bring her to this place too, Callahan. Your mother would love that.” “I did, Dad,” I murmur below the hum of the jet’s engines before leaning my head back in my seat and closing my eyes. But I didn’t know how to keep her.
Callahan Sharpe. My Johnnie Walker. I love you.
“Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned negotiations?” I quirk an eyebrow. His laugh is low and deep. “There is no negotiating when it comes to us. Ever.” “Ever?” He presses a kiss to my lips. “Ever.”
Yes. I’m that sap now. The ones I used to make fun of, but I’m perfectly fucking okay with it, because look what I get out of it. Her.
But I know. I think deep down I’ve always known. Collins is the one. She always has been.
