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There’s something about the way he looks at me that makes me wish we could just climb into his truck and keep driving. Away from this town. Away from its judgment. Away from its dismissal of me.
“Promise you’ll be there? At the tree?” “On one condition.” “What’s that?” He holds his hands out to his sides. “That you’ll love me forever,”
I blow a kiss in his direction and know that I’ll always think of him like this. My moonlight boy who said he’d love me forever.
Asher, the girl who handed me my first real heartbreak. The first real scare. And to this day, it’s still one of the only secrets I’ve kept from my brothers.
Asher. My lavender girl.
He draws my attention the minute he walks into Hank’s. Draws? Hell, more like he commands it.
I stand behind the bar, eyes blinking, head reeling, and look at the man who was once the boy who stole my heart. And then broke it into a million pieces. My moonlight boy who said he’d love me forever.
Ledger Sharpe. A name I’ve never forgotten . . . even if I wish I could have.
It’s what I prayed for night after night—for him to come back. But that was fifteen years ago. Life has changed. I’ve changed.
There’s unsettled silence between us. The kind that years apart and lives lived causes—when you know the person that was, but not the person in front of you now.
There’s something about Ledger Sharpe. Yes, he owned my heart once upon a time, but he’s right. I’m not a starry-eyed teenager anymore.
Nothing is holding my attention. Fucking nothing.
Because all I can think about is Asher Wells. What happened before. The heartbreak. The fear.
she doesn’t know. What I was accused of. Why the Sharpe family up and left out of nowhere. Why I never spoke to her again.
I give a shake of my head to clear it. It doesn’t work. She’s still there. Still owning my every thought.
It’s fucking stupid really. Hell, it’s been over a decade. I’ve had many lovers since then, many women who’ve occupied my bed and my time so that Asher’s and my teenage puppy love was merely a blip on my radar . . . and yet seeing her tonight . . . fuck, seeing her tonight gave me pause.
I’m not a player by any means, but I’m also not one who pursues my exes once we’ve parted ways. The been there, done that mentality in full effect. And yet there’s something about Asher that had me pursuing her tonight. That already has me wanting to see her again.
The teenage girl owned me way back when, and the woman she has become seemingly holds my interest now.
You’re my first born, Ledger. The one most like me. I expect more from you than anyone else.
She’s even prettier up close. Way out of my league.
Then she smiles . . . and I’m a goddamn goner.
It’s amazing how so much can change in three months. How life moves on and yet you feel like you’re standing still. How everyone else’s life goes back to normal while some moments I struggle to simply breathe from the grief that consumes me without warning.
“Life will always throw you hard times, Asher Julia Wells, and having a pity party won’t solve anything,”
Kill them with kindness. Jesus. It just might kill me in the process.
I may have wondered the other night why or how I was still attracted to her after all these years, but right now, I don’t care what the answer is. All I know is I am.
“Then we’ll talk about how all I’ve thought about since seeing you the other night is how much I want to kiss you.”
It takes everything I have not to act on the urge to kiss her. Fucking everything. She was in my dream last night, on my mind in the shower, and who I looked for in the crowd after the town hall meeting.
But I’m here for two months, Asher Wells. And in that time, we will most definitely cross paths. And hopefully, do a hell of a lot more.
I have to be there for the only people who have ever been there for me. What I didn’t know when I walked away from that world of opportunity—of utter happiness—was that I’d never get it back.
“This isn’t over, Asher. Not by a long shot. I’m not a patient man, but I’ve waited fifteen years to kiss you again . . . what’s a few more days?” A lifetime.
Go away, Ledger. Go away and leave me to my boring life and unpredictable, sometimes fulfilling sex life. I’m supposed to be angry at you. I’m supposed to stick to my guns. But, Jesus. You’re better than the memory of you ever was.
Because no matter how many times I tell myself I don’t want him, I’m still pulled right back into that connection with Ledger we had years ago when I see him.
There are no thoughts but her. No questions except for how quickly can we be alone? And time is of the fucking essence.
I’ve never felt like this before. The need. The want. The goddamn all-consuming desire. It owns me. It fuels me. It drowns me in everything that is Asher Wells.
Her. I just need her. To be in her. To have her. To fucking claim her.
Jesus. If her hand on my cock renders me momentarily incapacitated, what is the feel of her pussy wrapped around me going to do?
Sure, I worried about her and the pain I felt over losing her—our friendship, our plans—but my hands were tied. But she had to have known that.
It made me acknowledge that Ledger is like my own personal double-edged sword. He has the ability to devastate me and put me back together without even knowing it.
“You were the first boy, the first person, really, who looked at me without the shadow of my mother’s reputation staining me. You showed me that it didn’t matter who she was, it only mattered who I was. I think that’s why it hurt so bad. You knew me for me. He judged me for her.”
“I don’t know the answer to what this is here. I don’t know what happens in two months or even tomorrow, but I know seeing you again brought me right back to those summer nights I spent with you. Right back to wanting to see you again the minute I walk away from you.”
“Spread your legs for me, Ash,” he whispers in my ear before tugging on my earlobe. “Let me admire what I fucked into oblivion earlier. What I made sore.” The slide of his tongue along the curve of my shoulder. “Let me kiss it and make it all better.”
“Expectations are a funny thing. They can weigh you down or they can make you shine. What will your response be?”
Seeing him is like a sucker punch to the gut and a jump-start to my libido. Every freaking time.
Easier said than done because, despite my resolve and the short few weeks we have been involved, I already know my head and heart aren’t on the same page.
“If that’s what I get for a picnic in a field, you can bet your ass I’ll be planning something more elaborate next time.”
“A way to a woman’s heart is through her books. That’s for darn sure.”
“I want to be her when I grow up,”
I absolutely LOVE TOOTIE!
There’s nothing sexier than a man who is sure of himself.
I want her to be impressed with this. More importantly, with me. I’ve never cared what people think. I’m a Sharpe. That’s impressive enough for most people in and of itself. But she doesn’t care about that. She never has. So I’m hoping I can impress her by just being me.
He’s the best kind of addiction in the worst kind of way. One you want to have but fear the withdrawal from.
