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“Jesse, I’ve wanted you since as far back as I can remember. I’ve always wanted you, and you have to know that.” Any bit of sass was now buried beneath her soft voice. I want you too. I’ll always want you. But I can’t have you. “Then tonight would be a mistake,” he said
“You deserve to be with someone whole, Ella Mae. And I’m about as broken as they come. Far too many pieces for me to ask you to try and help put me back together.”
“Mm. As long as you whisper, good girl, at some point tonight, I’ll be as bad as you want me to be.”
Jesse tipped her chin up with his free hand, a silent demand for her eyes to meet his, and in a low, gravelly tone, he said, “I’m not marrying you to make you bait.” He leaned closer so that their mouths practically touched, and repeating her earlier pronouncement, he added, “End of fucking story.”
Jesse was rugged-handsome. Dangerous-handsome. Panty-soaking handsome.
“And I didn’t think you could ever forgive me once you learned the truth. I have a lot of blood on my hands. And I’m still . . . broken.”
“The kiss after we say our I do won’t be fake. And I’ll be damned if the one thing Brian’s had that I haven’t happens for the first time in front of an audience.”
There had never been, and she doubted there would ever be, anything truly fake about how she felt about that man.
Oh, this woman. She was evil right now. Tempting. But the little vixen had every right to torture him. And hell if he didn’t find himself getting off on her attitude.
But damn that mouth. Such a naughty girl. He could see it wrapped around his cock. See her on her knees with his fists in her hair while she took every inch of him.
“I’ve always known you were the one, Ella Mae. There’s never been anyone but you,” he said slowly. “You were with me in Iraq even though you didn’t know it. I had your picture with me. Always. Yours was the first face I looked at when I woke and the last face I saw before going to sleep.”
“My heart has been with you whether I was overseas or at home,” Jesse went on, his voice full of emotion. “It’s always been with you. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. No matter what.”
“How I feel about you, and how I have always felt about you is more real than my own existence,” he rasped while erasing the last bit of space between them, and without hesitation, he cupped the back of her head. He looked deep into her eyes and added in a hoarse voice, “It’s so real that in three years, I haven’t so much as touched another woman.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to find my way to you. To try and piece myself back together to be the man you deserve.” He quietly added, “I didn’t know if you could love someone so broken back then.” Ella nearly startled at his last comment, and she pulled back and swiped her hands over her cheeks, willing herself to pull it together. “Loving someone unconditionally means you’re there for them at their highs and lows.”
“I was waiting to be perfect for you, but I realize now perfection’s not achievable. For anyone, really. And if these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that feeling whole is my kind of perfect, and that’s how I feel when I’m with you.”
“You don’t always need to forgive someone in order to move on, you just need to forgive yourself for whatever feelings or behaviors they may have inspired.”
