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October 19 - October 22, 2023
Hidden away. Not married and producing babies. Not ensuring the military support of our nearest neighbors. Useless. Disappointment. It’s all there. Hanging in the air between us. Unspoken but real.
Where an instant before, the whole world stormed with horror, my every sense exploding with pain, now there’s stillness. Peace.
Distant screams of rage and death burst in the air but seem to belong in another world while I, here in my own small sphere of existence, am surrounded by peace.
“What have I told you about flinging yourself bodily onto the blades of our enemies?” “You’re against it, sire,” Yok speaks through gritted teeth. “Dead against it.”
She considers this. “Sounds rather like life at court.” My mouth quirks. “Certainly not. Morleth are far better mannered than any courtiers I know.”
“You’re exaggerating.” “I swear, I’m not! I don’t have the imagination.” “That’s true. You always were rather a dullard.” “The dullest of dullards. Poetry leaves me positively cold, and I fall asleep when the minstrel starts singing.”
“Only weak men feel the need to hide such strength behind closed doors.”
I try not to listen when humans are talking. I find it better for my sanity on the whole.”
Wind rushes past my ears, and I just have time to think, Well, that was a mistake.
The truth is, there is no place for me. Not anymore. I’m not convinced there ever was a place to begin with. The closest I ever came to belonging was in the arms of the man I just betrayed so cruelly, I have no hope of forgiveness.
Maybe it is best to stay in this place, to let the dream become reality. For what is reality save that which is dreamed? Yes, here is a place to stay, to be.
