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Kindle Notes & Highlights
It’s painful having to look at something so beautiful and never touch it.
She has a Julia Roberts smile—one so unique and stunning that once you’ve seen it, no other smile even comes close.
She’s a needle, and I’m a full balloon.
He laughs like friends do when they see a booger stuck to the side of your face but don’t intend to tell you it’s there.
This is my slice of heaven. It smells like yeast and pepperonis and sounds like classical music and laughter.
We tend to call and leave meaningless voicemails for no reason. Like cell phone pen pals. “Hey, is it true that some caterpillars are poisonous? Somehow one made its way into my truck and then disappeared when I looked away. Now I’m wondering if I should buy a new vehicle and just give him this one? What do you think?”
Can you get a flashy sports car this time? Also, I’m really craving a cherry slushie. Does that mean I have a vitamin deficiency? That’s all. K, bye.”
I’m a woman with very opinionated ovaries, and let me tell you, they’re real hussies.
I can’t help but chuckle at the sight of him, limbs completely sprawled out and hanging off every surface of my teeny-weeny furniture. He looks like he just climbed down the beanstalk and decided to nap on Baby Bear’s couch.
“Hey Siri, play that voicemail.” I love technology. Giving us these little servants.
My statement cuts through the air like a foghorn in a bar fight.
I want to go put red ants in her underwear drawer! Put hot sauce in her coffee creamer! Duct-tape her car doors shut!” “Ooh, how devious. Do the feds know about you?”
She’s been knocking ’em back like a toddler with a juice box problem.
“You smell sooooo good. Even your sweat smells good. How do you do that?”
“I say just go for it. True love only comes once in a lifetime—don’t let it pass you by.”
Life pulls the rug out from under us all the time, so if I can just be happy with what I have at this exact moment, I’ll live a healthier life.
I can’t speak, because I don’t know what to say. A tumbleweed rolls across my thoughts.
I’m so tired of neutral. I’m ready to provoke the hell out of something.
She laughs again, and I want to steal her voice away like Ursula did to Ariel because it’s really getting on my nerves now.
It’s a look I’ve never seen before, like I just got duped by a card shark when I thought I was playing Go Fish against a toddler.
Hey, God, it’s me, Bree—do you mind handing me that 9×13 baking dish right there by you? It’s fine. I’ll just climb up there like all of us short people learned to do when we stopped growing at the age of twelve.
I only meant to lie down for a few minutes, and then that somehow turned into four years and I woke up feeling like I had been teleported to another dimension.
He smells good. So damn good. I want to fill a pool with his scent so I can swim around in it all day long while sipping a margarita.
My inner territorial cavewoman is getting out of control lately, and I need to get a grip.
Even if you prepare yourself for the worst in life, it will never make the fall hurt less.
My heart is in my throat. No, it’s in my hands. I’m holding it out here for her to take.
Also, I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a good chance you caught an STD sitting on that floor.” He shrieks and jumps up without my help. “Am I going to have to burn these clothes?” “It’s probably for the best if you do.”
It’s the same as when you jump off a diving board for the first time. That first second after you jump is the worst, and then from there, it’s easy. There’s nothing to do but enjoy the free fall.
Keep those feelings wrapped up like an egg salad at a church potluck—they’re not actually good for anyone.
It makes my stomach turn inside out like a reversible jacket.
Oh my gosh. I can’t breathe or swallow or think or move or live any longer. My soul has reached nirvana and I’m not coming back.
You know what’s strange about being a normal person and not living inside a Netflix movie? After significant moments, you don’t get a scene jump. After your best friend whom you’ve been secretly pining after for years and years maybe-sort-of-did-he? admits to liking you, too, you don’t get to flash forward. Nope. My life goes on, painfully slow and full of uncertainty. I get to live in the gray for three whole days.
“Fiiiine, you can come with me. But fair warning, there’s going to be a lot of chaos. Screaming, dancing, cake flying everywhere, and that’s all just coming from me.”
depression told its own story, and it was hard to hear the truth through it.”
All that woman needed was a fur coat and she’d be a Disney villain.
A woman carrying a clipboard drags me quickly inside the small white Vegas chapel, and I’m surprised that on the inside it doesn’t smell like liquor and strippers.
My breath catches at the threshold. It’s not at all what I thought it would be. Where’s Elvis? Where’s the smell of gin and bad decisions?
