I step toward him, put my arms around him. My face presses to his chest. I exhale when I feel his arms around me. He’s warm and firm and somehow not at all what I expected. Maybe it’s just the way he holds me back that takes me by surprise. Like it’s natural. Like we’ve done all this before. It leaves me breathless, and I realize I don’t want to get on that train. What if I stayed? What if— “All aboard,” a voice calls from the train. “Good night, Lanie,” Noah says against my ear as the conductor blasts the horn. “Thanks again.” Our arms fall away from each other. I turn from him reluctantly,
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I AM ACTIVELY SCREAMING AND KICKING MY FEEEEET
