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“I missed you, too,” I snicker, my voice raw and scratchy. “I did miss you. It’s just…” he whispers softly. “Can I keep you?” And my soul breaks because of it.
He’s not evil. He laughs and he smiles. He jokes and literally has a higher GPA than me. He hates the rain but loves the fog it leaves because it reminds him of smoke. He hates when I write on the inside of his cigarette packs, but I catch him smirking when he reads them.
“You can keep me, Rook.” It’s in this moment I realize I would do anything for him. So much so that I’m going to tell him about the arrangement, see if he can help me so that Rose won’t be just as trapped. Anything he asks, I would do it.
But love—God, what a hold to have over someone. That is a true downfall.
Against my better judgment, I care about her. I want her. And because life loves reminding me how vicious it can be when you’re not paying attention, all of my worries are absolutely true.
She’s in me, everywhere, and I want her the fuck out, right now. All of her words, all of her actions, they had all been filthy, fucking lies. Every. Last. One of them.
The sad fact was I didn’t even know all the things Rook kept inside. There were still traumas and secrets he’d hidden from me, and I still fell for him.
Death is inevitable, and I always knew that. It’s a rite of passage, but you think of it happening when you’re older. Death when you are this young, it’s nothing but a sick, sick tragedy. It’s an entirely different form of mourning.
How do you explain that someone was everything and nothing at the same time? That she had been the first person since the guys and Rose I’d wanted to see me. To see all of me, know everything. Because I’d thought she’d accept it.
