How Our Hearts Break

by L.K. Reid

“Sometimes the people you hang out with become just a habit, a familiar place, if you wish to call it that. I was never one to keep hanging around people when I wasn’t wanted anymore.”

Funny how these things work. You never know when the last time that the person you loved more than most other people in your life would become a stranger.

Sometimes when you love somebody, you decide to turn a blind eye to all those bad attributes they had, because the good ones were the only ones you cared about.

I wasn’t raised to be a doormat, no matter how much I loved the other person. I loved him with every single pore in my body, but sometimes… Sometimes love wasn’t enough, and we just grew up to be completely different people.

Wasn’t it fucked up that we spent our entire lives already having everything we ever needed, yet we never saw it until we lost those things?

I should’ve told her that she was my shining star, my past, present, and future. I should’ve groveled, begged, cried if needed, all so that she would look at me with the same adoration and love once again.

Hearts were fragile things. Easily lovable, but easily breakable as well. To make matters worse, they were trusting, forgiving, keen to open their doors again for the person that hurt them, that made them bleed.

I guess I always knew that we weren’t meant for happy endings. Some people had tragedy engraved on their bones, and no matter what, they could never run away from it. But somewhere between breaking my own heart, avoiding the truth, and smiling as if seeing him with other people didn’t make me wanna cry every single time, I realized something else. I would rather see him happy with somebody else, than sad and miserable with me. I would rather see him live his life fully, smiling, getting everything he deserved, while I watched from the sidelines.

Life and death were like two lovers, always dancing around each other, but never touching, missing each other forever, until one day they got to be together again. Like the story of Sun and Moon always yearning for each other, wishing that things were different. Wishing that Fates gave them a better life instead of the one filled with longing and pain.