Finding Mayhem

by Layla Frost

To the cracked vases in danger of shattering completely… You’re stronger than you think.

I’d say money corrupted and made people paranoid, but that wasn’t true. Money gave people the balls to be who they truly were. And most people were truly dickheads.

didn’t bother to explain that since it’d likely be lost on him. And I didn’t have the time, patience, or enough crayons to dumb it down.

It must’ve been the day for red. Because what else was red? Flags. Lots of them. But I must’ve been colorblind because I ignored them all.

“Not gonna fuck you,” he said. Of course he’s not. What the hell was I thinking? What in the actual fuck am I doing? All the anxieties that had evaporated suddenly resurfaced, thicker and more painful than before. Mortified, disappointed, and embarrassingly turned on, I tried to scurry off him while not throwing myself back into the fire.

Shame spiraled through me as I realized how hellishly inappropriate it all was. I’d seen his joint. For all I knew, he was high as a kite, and I’d taken advantage of him in his altered state. Earlier wasn’t the nightmare. This is the nightmare. He kept going like he could read my growing freak-out, even in the dim lighting. “I’m not fucked up, Mac. Only had half a drink and barely had a hit before you came over. And I’m fuckin’ glad you did. Left the gate open, hoping you would. But when I take you, finally fuckin’ feel you, I don’t want any of my senses dulled. Not even a little. Got it?”

“Good,” Swedes said with a firm nod. “Way to make a woman happy is with good food. And snacks. Don’t overlook the importance of a good snack.” She did love that popcorn…

“I got hummus.” His words made me hesitate because they were so random and I seriously loved hummus. “What?” “Black olive and jalapeño. It’s got folate, iron, protein. Good for Squish.” Squish. He said Squish.

Many men and women would prefer the kind of no-strings arrangement that entailed no post-sex hangout. To come and then go. Jizz and then jet. Ejaculate and then evacuate. Blow the load and then hit the road.

Ignoring his smug smile and the fact I liked said smug smile, I snacked away. “I love spicy food.” “I know.” He knows. Of course he does. “Except the heartburn.” Shifting me to the side, he pulled something out of his pocket and set it on the table. Antacids. “I know,” he repeated. Not just does he know. He knows. And not just am I in big trouble. I’m in huge trouble.

His hand on my mouth tightened in a way that should’ve sent a surge of terror through me, but it didn’t. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Not ever. Instead, arousal pooled at my core. It grew when he leaned in, the long, thick, rock-hard proof of his matching excitement pressed to my stomach. “If you think I want anyone but you, you haven’t been paying a fuckin’ lick of attention.”

“Bunnies are the women who spend time with the Mayhem men.” More than a hint of resentment and bitterness was present in her biting sentence. I understood it. I really understood it. I’d never in my life felt as feral as I did at that moment. I wanted to climb on his lap and make sure no bunnies came anywhere near him. And if I left a few love bites on his neck to mark my territory… Oh well.

She pet her as she inched the curtains aside. “Should we be concerned that Glitch is carrying Kat to his truck over his shoulder?” “Nah.” “Should we try to stop him?” “Nah,” I repeated. “He’d never hurt her. This break was the kick in the ass he needed.” “Break? It’s been less than a day.” “Trust me, neighbor, that’s more than enough time.”

Cupping her ass, I lifted her. She let out a yelp as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. “What’re you—” Her words were cut off when I kissed her, working to keep her distracted so she didn’t talk herself out of slumming it with an undeserving bastard like me.

Mac wasn’t playing it cool. She wasn’t being reserved. She wasn’t putting on a slow, sexy act. It was hurried. Desperate. Honest. The hottest fuckin’ thing I’d ever experienced in my damn life.

“Trust me, no one wants to see me topless.” Shoving my boxer-briefs down, I wrapped her hand around my hard dick. I used my hand over hers to tighten her grip, precum already leaking from the head. A hiss seeped out between my clenched teeth at the feel of her skin on mine. Christ, this is gonna be embarrassing. “Keep your hand on me while I take off your shirt. Tell me I don’t wanna see you. Look me in the eye and lie to my fuckin’ face.”

Fuck, fuck, fuckin’ hell. I died. I’m dead The morning I met her, I must’ve actually fallen asleep and driven off a damn cliff. It was the only explanation.

Her soft gasp said what I already knew. That she’d felt me get harder as I stared at her tits. Her stomach. Her every-fuckin’-thing. “Say it, Mac. Tell me I don’t like what I see. Tell me I’m not hard and leaking precum. Tell me I’m not desperate to bury myself inside you and come till you’re overflowing.” Fisting her hair, I tilted her head back. “Lie to me and tell me I don’t want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.”

Settling my shoulders between her legs, I didn’t even have to touch her to know she was soaked. I could see it glistening on her pretty pussy and thighs. But I wasn’t a man who wasted a good meal. She didn’t need it, but since we both got off on it, I spit on her pussy. I watched as it clenched, needy and empty.

Her hips rocked with abandon, fuckin’ my face as she moaned my name. My motherfuckin’ name. Her legs trembled, squeezing my head like she wanted to smother me in her pussy. A king’s death.

After the ultrasound and a quick checkup with her doctor, I’d kept my word to Mac. I’d taken her straight to Sweets You Rock for the two cupcakes she thought I owed her. She was wrong. I owed her as many cupcakes as she wanted. And I’d happily pay out for the rest of my damn life.

I liked the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. I loved how she looked at me when she let her guard down and allowed herself to do it. I fuckin’ loved the way she looked at me when I was naked, inside her, making her come, or any combination of the three. But I wanted her to look at me with the same open longing she had for the various baked goods.

As she sat in silence, I wondered if she’d finally say something. Hoped she would. Dreaded it, too. I was possessive as hell when it came to her. She was my first love. She was it for me. It. I didn’t wanna hear about another man. Hear about their past, their plans, their life together. Hear her grief. Or maybe that she wasn’t over him. But at the same time, it was a part of her. And I wanted that. All of her. Every part, no matter what. That was why I would set my personal shit aside and listen.

“Thanks for coming home safely to me.” Fuck. Fuck. I rolled us, curling myself around her. “Always, baby.” For the rest of my life.

And it just got worse the longer I waited because you’re so good to me. Not just me but to Squish, too. She isn’t even here. She’s not even your—” “Stop yourself right there, Mac. I got eyes. I knew you were pregnant the first time I saw you. Knew you and Squish were a package deal when I started chasing you and knew I was lucky to get that deal when you finally let me catch you. Thought it then. Think it even more now that I know all the bullshit you’ve been through. As far as I’m concerned, she,” I put my hand on her stomach, “is my baby. And I’ve felt that way for longer than you’re gonna wanna hear.” “How long?” she asked anyway. “Wanted to be involved when I found you crouched next to the fence so you could smell the barbecue. But she was mine the first time Squish rolled under my palm. And when I saw her on the ultrasound? Fuck. I was done for.”

Like she knew I was talking about her, Squish kicked my hand. “Not even born, and she’s already got me wrapped around her little finger.”