Finding Mayhem

by Layla Frost

“When I was unloading the moving van, Ward tried to make me sit while he did it all.” “‘Tried’? You mean he didn’t get his way for once?” “No.” I raised my chin and fought to keep a straight face. “I stood while he did it.” “I bet he didn’t know what to do with himself,” Ophelia said with a laugh,

“Why the hell would you torture yourself with this shit?” I patted my stomach. “Balanced diets are important for pregnancy.” “And flavor isn’t a balanced diet?” “It has flavor.” “Bad.” He tossed the container into a nearby garbage bag. “The flavor it has is bad.”

“Most people have a normal kink,” I pointed out with a shake of my head. “Your kink is a damn tutu.” “No, my kink is when my wife says cock. The skirt is just foreplay.”

“Where’re the steaks?” I’d planned on pizza, but if the steaks were still edible, I’d be good with that. “There are none. It’s cauliflower steaks.” It didn’t matter how much she repeated the words or how slow she said them, my brain couldn’t comprehend the idea of cauliflower being a steak. No way in hell. “You tried to make a vegetable into a steak?” I asked, fuckin’ horrified.

“You followed the recipe exactly except you didn’t use breadcrumbs, you baked instead of fried, and you coated them in seasonings that expired around the time movies started having audio.”

“I’ve got a Mac kink.” He lifted his hips, pushing his cock against me. “That said, hearing you say the word kink is damn sure a new kink.” I wanted to explore that more.

I couldn’t believe he’d paid attention to me. I hadn’t even paid attention to me.

“Yeah. Dumpster.” “That’s… interesting. Family name?”

I’m gonna need to hire movers to handle all my baggage and compartmentalized boxes. Oh wait. That’s literally my job.

“The baby’s not mine.” I thought about the tiny face on the ultrasound. “But the baby is mine.”

“I’ve never even seen you with her, and I knew,” Swedes said. “Cooking for her. Skipping parties. Walking around like you got cartoon hearts floating outta your eyes.”

“Sing her a song,” Haze suggested. Bouncing up and down, I serenaded Zoe about my love of big butts while keeping an eye on the stairs. “I meant a lullaby,” Haze interrupted, just as I was getting into it. “I don’t know any. Babs wasn’t exactly the nurturing, motherly type.”

“Hi, guys. Enjoy your last day with Ward before I throttle him.” “Fair enough. It’s been a good run,” Judge shot back.

“This is your fantasy?” “I told you that.” “You said you wanted to see it. That’s a whole fuckuva lot different than a fantasy.” “It’s a new one,” I admitted.