Why do we often become attached to a source of negative reinforcement, seek solace when distressed from the cause of that distress? Why do we ever love the wrong person, get abused, and return for more? Psychological insights abound. Because of poor self-esteem, believing you’ll never do better. Or a codependent conviction that it’s your calling to change the person. Maybe you identify with your oppressor, or have decided it’s your fault and the abuser is justified, so they seem less irrational and terrifying. These are valid and can have huge explanatory and therapeutic power.
