Our encounters with the emotions that tend to niggle at us the most can be our greatest guide. In my conversation with psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel, I learned about using the “change triangle” as a tool to identify our core emotions and use them as pointers for action. We can learn a lot from emotions, yet many of us have developed clever ways to inhibit them—either through shame, guilt, or anxiety—or defend against them through behaviors ranging from procrastination to a deflecting sense of humor. Inhibitory emotions and our defenses are the mind’s way of protecting us from emotional
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