It is still unpleasant to be caught off guard and have your thoughts and feelings turn to grief. But your brain is bringing them up in order to try to understand what happened, in the same way that you may share memories and stories with friends to talk them through and gain a deeper understanding. When you think of intrusive thoughts this way, it feels more normal that they happen: your brain is doing this for a reason. They seem more functional, and less like a sign you are not handling your grief well.
