What was remarkable, however, was how many fell into this “not depressed” resilient category: more than half of the widowed spouses. That means that resilience is the most typical pattern of grieving, showing that most people who experience the death of a loved one do not experience depression at any time point. Frankly, this surprised many people who study grief. This insight reminded us that clinicians had primarily been studying bereaved people who sought help after their loss, a smaller group than the larger “resilient” group who didn’t experience depression. We had generalized our
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