Avoidance—trying to circumvent the knowledge that the death has happened—is effortful. Avoiding the overwhelming feelings of grief, motivated by how much you hate those feelings, requires effort. Accepting, on the other hand, does not have any bearing on whether or not you hate the fact that your loved one died. It simply acknowledges the reality, and stops the reaction there. No ruminating, no problem solving, no anger, no protest—just accepting the way it is.
