Throughout the time that the penguins spend apart, brooding on the egg, the memory of the other is not just a memory. It is a memory attached to a specific belief or motivation—“Wait for this one to return. This one is special. This one belongs to you.” In humans as well, it is because your loved one existed that certain neurons fire together and certain proteins are folded in your brain in particular ways. It is because your loved one lived, and because you loved each other, that means when the person is no longer in the outer world, they still physically exist—in the wiring of the neurons of
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