Psychologists call our thoughts about what could have happened counterfactual thinking. Counterfactual thinking often involves our real or imagined role in contributing to the death or the suffering of our loved one. It is the million “what ifs” that roll through our mind: If I had done this, he never would have died. If I had not done that, he never would have died. If the doctor had done this, if the train had not been late, if he had not had that last drink . . . The number of possible counterfactuals is infinite. Their infinite nature gives us endless thoughts to focus on, to consider and
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