Well, the truth is, psychologists do not yet have all the answers to when (or how much) processing of thoughts about grief is helpful and when it is not. Researchers are actively grappling with the paradox that you cannot learn about what has happened, and therefore why you feel terrible grief, without focusing on yourself, on your sad and angry feelings. You cannot fully understand what has happened without letting your mind wander through the territory of rumination. At the same time, these ruminative thoughts can develop a life of their own, and when grieving people persist in these
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