Restore Me

by J.L. Seegars

She looks tired and worn down. Like someone who’s had her heart shattered and completely given up ever being whole again because she knows those pieces are lost to her forever — floating around in the universe with the love of her life, never to be seen again.

My person whose arms felt like home, whose heart beat in time with mine.

A serene aura I want to soak into my bones until letting things roll off of my back comes to me as easily as it does to him.

Greedy for a glimpse into the sanctuary of a woman who still feels like a mystery to me sometimes.

I want to soak it up, pull every note out of the air, and absorb it into my being.

Men who take things from you without your permission don’t deserve their next breath let alone your consideration.”

You put their needs before your own. You take the rain, so they can dance in the sunshine. You place a bandage over the gaping hole in your chest, so blood doesn’t spill on their shoes.

I want to dive headfirst into your eyes and never come up for air.

I’m still so far gone for this woman, captivated by her smile, devastated by the sway of her hips, shattered by the thought of living without her and willing to do anything to stop it from happening.

I’ll give up my soul for a moment of your time. I’ll sell everything I own for a night in your bed. There’s no sacrifice I wouldn’t make to hear you laugh, make you smile, or shield you from pain.”

Like your heart knew just like mine did that there was no turning back.

If anything, life owes you some good, joyful moments to give you a break from the grief you’ve been carrying around all by yourself.”

Love. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you, love. Your smile lights up my world, and your arms feel like home, love. I could stand here all day and watch you do the most mundane task without ever getting bored, love.

Kissing him again feels like finally coming up for air after a lifetime of being underwater. Every breath I pull in is full of him, and I relish it, hating every second I’ve had to go without it.

Because wanting you is the only thing that’s gotten me through living without you. It’s gotten me to this moment right here, where I can look you in the eyes and tell you that I love you and I can’t live without you.

With the entire world in her eyes. With love shimmering in dapples of gold. With shadows and flames and the promise of a lifetime filled with the best kind of trouble.