Restore Me

by J.L. Seegars

Bitterness shimmers in her eyes, and I can practically see her brain carrying her far away, back to the exact moment she realized she couldn’t trust the man she loved. That she couldn’t count on him to do the things he said or keep the promises he made to her.

But this idea you have in your head about not deserving to be happy is ridiculous. If anything, life owes you some good, joyful moments to give you a break from the grief you’ve been carrying around all by yourself.”

“Being happy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten what you’ve lost. Grief doesn’t work that way, Sloane. Human emotion is more complex than feeling one thing at a time, and happiness doesn’t erase grief, it enhances it. It makes the knowledge of what you’ve lost more acute, but it also makes it possible for you to open yourself up again, to make room for what you’ve lost to come back to you in a different way.”

Love. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you, love. Your smile lights up my world, and your arms feel like home, love. I could stand here all day and watch you do the most mundane task without ever getting bored, love. I am so fucking stupid and have set myself up for the heartbreak of a lifetime, love.