Restore Me

by J.L. Seegars

My person whose arms felt like home, whose heart beat in time with mine.

A love that saved me from the depths of my grief even when her own must have been threatening to crush her.

Skin hunger. That was the term she used, and apparently, it’s a normal reaction to not receiving the amount of loving, human touch you desire for an extended amount of time.

I’m vaguely aware of the praises spilling from my mouth and skating across her skin, but even I don’t know what I’m saying. I just can’t stop talking to her,

All the hurt I feel, all the pain Sloane feels, lies squarely on my shoulders, and I’ll bear it because that’s what you do for the people you love. You put their needs before your own. You take the rain, so they can dance in the sunshine. You place a bandage over the gaping hole in your chest, so blood doesn’t spill on their shoes.

stretching every second into immeasurable units of time until I can’t be sure how long the actual encounter lasted.

Let’s be clear, whatever the price is for being with you, I’ll happily pay it. I’ll give up my soul for a moment of your time. I’ll sell everything I own for a night in your bed. There’s no sacrifice I wouldn’t make to hear you laugh, make you smile, or shield you from pain.”

“Take the skirt off. I want to see all of you.” And I want to be seen.

the power of owning his pleasure,

Every molecule of my body bleeding slowly into his with the kind of precision that makes it all feel inevitable. Like an invisible needle and thread is running between us, stitching us together with something much deeper than stolen moments, hidden desire, and a shared goal neither of us has mentioned since our first real night together.

“Angel.” He plants a kiss on my lips. “I’m jealous of the wind that gets to blow through your curls.” Another kiss, this time to my jaw. “Of the fabric that gets to hug your curves all day and the moonlight that streams across your skin at night.”

Because that’s exactly what this is. Love. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you, love. Your smile lights up my world, and your arms feel like home, love. I could stand here all day and watch you do the most mundane task without ever getting bored, love.

The place where all my shadows and every burst of flame are known, understood, and loved.

wherever you are is where I’ll be.”

Every breath I pull in is full of him,

The same one that’s steadied me with firm pressure at my back countless times, wiped my tears when I cried over things I couldn’t change, and spelled love in my skin with gentle strokes of fingertips.