Funny You Should Ask

by Elissa Sussman

I didn’t make sense on the best of days.

Instead it feels like an old sweater I found in the back of my closet, one that I remember fitting perfectly, only when I put it on, it’s stiff and plasticky, permanently creased from being forgotten.

Mercury was in retrograde.

Maybe my mind does, but my body sure as hell hasn’t gotten the memo.

“He wears his jeans too tight,” she’d say. “That means he’s insecure about his dick size.”

Relationships are like countries. Friendships, families, marriages. Any deep, meaningful relationship tends to form its own customs. Its own language.