Funny You Should Ask

by Elissa Sussman

It was all happening so fast. Heat rippled through my body, short-circuiting any rational thoughts I might have had. Because if my brain had a chance to catch up, it might have told me that what I was doing was a very bad thing. That Gabe was used to women throwing themselves at him. That if I did this, I would be just another starstruck fangirl who slept with her favorite movie star. That if I ever wanted to have a normal relationship with a normal person then I was setting myself up to be disappointed after this kind of experience. Jeremy would probably never forgive me.

So what if Gabe had forgotten my name in the heat of the moment? I was fooling myself if I thought that this meant something. He was a movie star. He had women flinging themselves at his feet, and he was here with me. Did I really think this was going to be anything more than what it was?

My breath catches. Because this is it. There are no more secrets, no more forgotten moments. I’m vulnerable and exposed. Brand-new. Ready. He’s watching me. Waiting.

I know that if we do this, I’ll never get over him.

I have that feeling of not belonging. What it was like in New York. What it’s been like in L.A. I’m wondering if I just don’t feel at home in myself anymore.

“I know that being a movie star doesn’t insulate a person from having feelings just like everyone else,” he says. “We are capable of feeling things. Like friendship. And love.”