She fiercely regretted killing Ilar, but she felt she did not deserve Cadvan’s anger. Her shame mingled with resentment at his lack of understanding. She did not deserve Cadvan’s absolute censure. She had not meant to kill; it had just come out of her, in the same way as when she had destroyed the wight. He had not been so keen to judge her then. She pushed down her knowledge that, at the instant of the blow, she had wanted to utterly destroy the Bard.
