He Who Fights with Monsters 5 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #5)

by Shirtaloon

“I’ll meet who?” “My friend who died.” “She’s not dead anymore?” “She got better. Eventually. I come back much quicker than she did every time I die.” “What?”

“Honour is how people with fancy swords fight people with sticks and claim it’s a fair fight.” “That is a poor characterisation of honour.” “And you came to my house to tell me I have none, which is a poor demonstration of courtesy.” Akari nodded, acknowledging the point.

“Jason,” she said. “Did I ever tell you that you were my favourite grandchild?” “No, Grandmother.” “Good, because you’re not. You are coming along, though.”

“You’re telling me that this thing is a bag of holding?” Jason narrowed his eyes at her. “Do you play Dungeons & Dragons?”

“It can’t be as bad as with Colin, right? You’re not going to bleed out your butt hole and pass out, right?” “I didn’t bleed out my butt hole.” “You bled out of everywhere. We thought you might be dead.”

“Power gives people the chance to be what they truly desire. It strips away the layers they place between their deepest selves and their behaviour.”

“We have proof!” “So does climate change and how’s that going? If I hear anyone on our side peddling a line about the EOA being behind this, I will personally have wild monkey sex with your father.” “My father’s dead, you arsehole.” “Then he won’t struggle, will he? Get back to work.”

“I’ll spare you the details for the sake of dignity. Suffice to say it involved a kitsune and a significant quantity of lard.”

You need not fear the man who kills, for all you need to do is be better. Fear the man who kills, then smiles and laughs like it is any other day. There is no line such a man will not cross, whatever he might tell you. Or tell himself.”

“Look at the things he’s done. It’s clear how hard he’s trying to be a good man.” “Exactly,” Koya said. “Good men don’t have to try.”

The opposite of good is easy. That may have been the moral of the last Harry Potter book, now that I think about it. Anyway, people don’t do bad things because there is some antagonistic force driving them to sin. They do them because when the right thing is hard, making little compromises doesn’t seem so bad. A shortcut here, a little selfishness when no one will ever know. Every step makes the next one a little easier.”

“Hold on,” Jason said. “You want me to go into a place that can’t be entered and brave conditions that are completely unknown in an environment being torn apart and rebuilt at a level that makes subatomic particles seem shallow?” “I know it seems too dangerous to—” “Awesome,” Jason said. “Pardon?” Dawn asked.