He Who Fights with Monsters 5 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #5)

by Shirtaloon

“You’ve gone native.” “I’ve gone native? You were frying giant worm meat in a village stall on your second day in my world.”

“Jason,” she said. “Did I ever tell you that you were my favourite grandchild?” “No, Grandmother.” “Good, because you’re not. You are coming along, though.”

It had originally begun as a meeting to decide on a name for the village, ultimately settling on Asano Village. Jason’s second choice—‘Jason’s Magic Buff Emporium’—was resoundingly overruled.

“You are the most aggravating person I have ever met.” “You’re not even top three for me. At least you’ve calmed down some.” “You think I’m calm?” she asked incredulously.

Something I have learned in my very long life is that not all knowledge is worth possessing.”

I will personally have wild monkey sex with your father.” “My father’s dead, you arsehole.” “Then he won’t struggle, will he? Get back to work.”

“Terry, you threatened to have sex with the man’s dead father. I’ve worked with Michael Aram a long time and he’s a good man whose father was incredibly important to him. You are going to apologise and you are going to god damn mean it or I will throw you out of the building myself.”

“I’m beginning to understand why the Builder was so caught up in killing someone as insignificant as you.”

“Why do people keep threatening me with violence?” Terrance complained, looking at Jason. “They don't threaten you.” “Did you not hear what I just said about the dozens of people? Everyone who has threatened me is either dead or a god-like being from beyond reality. Or had their power stripped by an invasive procedure. Oh, or had their soul devoured by one of those god-like beings I just mentioned. That was a rough way to go, but I wasn't directly involved. Actually, there is one guy who wound up fine. His name's Jerrick and I almost killed him, but I kept him alive for evidence on this thing I was working on. Then there was a political cover-up and he lost his job, but he's doing alright. Even helped me out once. My soul was being tortured and he let my friends know where I was because of the time I didn't kill him. There were these other guys I killed while I was bringing him back for questioning and I think it left an impression. They gave him his job back for that. Helping me, I mean, not watching me kill a bunch of people in a shopping arcade.” “Uh…” Terrance said.

“Are you saying that my world is immoral?” Farrah asked. “Every time I killed people, I got rewarded,” Jason said. “That means you were killing the right people,” Farrah told him.

“How much of this are you following?” he asked her. “It's best not to try with Jason. Just let him run around, nod occasionally and wait for him to tire himself out.” “Kind of like a toddler.” “Exactly like a toddler.”

“I don't suppose you know how to get your brothers into some kind of water fight?” Erika turned to give Terrance a flat look. “I had to ask,” he said.

“If you don’t like the way of things, then change them. All you need is enough power.”

“He said that great adventurers are the ones that turn opportunity into fortune. Or something like that. The point is that when the same thing keeps happening, good or bad, eventually, you have to accept that it’s not luck. It’s you.”

“You were Rufus’ student more than mine,” Farrah said. “It seems you've picked up his habit of measuring himself by his failures. No matter how powerful he becomes, how skilled he is, he always focuses on the times he fell short. The people he couldn't help. I'm sure you saw it after I died.”

“What flaws?” “Are you serious? You believe in freedom but have the heart of a tyrant. You’ll do what you think is right, regardless of what it costs or who gets in your way. That would be obnoxious enough if you were always right, but you have a nasty habit of getting confident first and informed second. Do you have any idea how much damage a self-righteous person with real power can do? Remember Anisa?”

“Always either be modest or wildly self-aggrandising. Avoid anything in between, for there lies mediocrity.”

“It’s just… my essences are dark, blood and omen, with a doom confluence.”

“Why exactly are people trying to kill you?” Yumi asked. “They probably met him,” Dawn said.

“That’s because if people realise I just keep coming back, they’ll realise there’s no point killing me in the first place.” Denji and Koya shared an uncertain look as they witnessed the exchange, while Itsuki had a wide grin on his face.

“Someone tried to shove a star seed up in me.” “And it didn’t work?” Mr North laughed. “Mr Asano, you are a parade of delights. It seems that I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. You need to take this particular object off the Builder’s hands.”

“You do realise how self-centred it is that your greatest fear is some version of yourself, right?”

“If I had a bingo card for you,” she told him, “I’d have just crossed off ‘get the patriarch of an ancient Japanese clan to complain about old movies during a treasure hunt on a deserted tropical island.’”

“I don’t think he’s like that,” Itsuki said. “Look at the things he’s done. It’s clear how hard he’s trying to be a good man.” “Exactly,” Koya said. “Good men don’t have to try.”

“He told me that a good person doesn’t have to try to be good.” “I see,” Jason said with a frown. “I’ll have to respectfully disagree with your father on that; what you just described tells me a lot about your father’s life. He was born into money and influence. When everything comes easy, it’s easy to be good. It costs you nothing, or so little as not to matter. I learned this for myself in the other world.”

“I would probably have said something similar a few years ago. It was only when things got hard and I was truly put to the test that I discovered how fragile what I thought of as my bedrock principles really were. It was profoundly disappointing. Do you know what the opposite of good is, Itsuki?” “Evil would be the obvious answer, but that’s not the answer you’re looking for.”

“You’re right. The opposite of good is easy. That may have been the moral of the last Harry Potter book, now that I think about it. Anyway, people don’t do bad things because there is some antagonistic force driving them to sin. They do them because when the right thing is hard, making little compromises doesn’t seem so bad. A shortcut here, a little selfishness when no one will ever know. Every step makes the next one a little easier.”

don’t want to speak poorly of your father, but claiming that there is some inherently good person out there who never has trouble making the right choice is naïve.

“Good,” Jason said. “Be wary of anyone who is completely certain of the right path. I have been, from time to time, which has done damage along the way.”

“Am I imagining things, or is Shade getting quite butlery?” “He’s become fascinated by the profession,” Jason said. “He likes the quiet, dignified competence of duty. It hasn’t made trying to get him to be more relaxed any easier.”

“So, ah, has Asya talked to you yet?” Greg asked. “About going to the other world?” “Yeah.” “She has. Have you both been working up to ask me?” “We figured one of us should soften you up by sleeping with you first,” Greg said. “I won’t lie: I’m glad she volunteered.” Jason burst out laughing.

Trying to suppress Jason’s aura was like trying to grip a wet, frictionless ball that kept slipping through his fingers.

“Did they tell you I lost? It was an escape, not a victory.” “Escape in the face of that kind of power is a victory. Akari wants to keep helping you. She knows how important what you are doing is.”

When Craig Vermillion had come to him, Franklin belatedly realised that he should have gone with him. Afraid of change, Franklin had declined, not realising that there was no staying the way things were. Change was coming. It was a matter of choosing which change to involve himself with. He had quickly come to realise that he had chosen poorly.

Like many vampires, Franklin had considered himself a living witness of history. He discovered how naïve he had been when confronted with a member of the British Empire born in the early years of the 16th century. Every moment was now filled with regret that he had not disappeared with Craig and the other Cabal members with the foresight to see what was coming.

“I’m going to miss you, brother. I’ll think of you every time I play a new board game you’ll never get a chance to try.” “Oh, you prick.” “You shouldn’t have called me a chuuni so many times.”

“I love you, brother,” Kaito said as they walked. “I’m going to bang your wife and raise your kids,” Jason whispered. “I’m going to make all three call me Daddy.” “Oh my god, you’re an arse.”

“He’s coming back,” Greg assured them. “He’s almost definitely not going to leave you out here in the middle of the ocean.”

“Again, Lord Willoughby, it’s the essence magicians. They’re far more powerful than they were in your time.”

[Power Bond] has used a random essence from [Farrah Hurin] to enhance one of your abilities at random. Ability [Sanguine Horror] has been enhanced by [Fire Essence]. While [Power Bond] is in effect, familiar [Colin] will be immune to fire and heat effects and inflict [Burning] when making attacks. “Oh,” Jason said, his dark hood hiding the wide grin on his face. “Oh, dear me.”

Unlike Jason, the vampire lacked the control to hide his location in an area flooded by his aura. Instead, he stood out like a beacon.

Maybe it’s okay to laugh when you can, even in the dark days.” “I think that might be when it’s most important.”

The sound of gunfire came through the phone. “You aren’t playing a video game, are you?” Jason asked. “Uh, no, I’m not,” Craig said. “I don’t suppose you’re anywhere near Sydney?”

“Night Stalker!” “Night Stalker doesn’t even sound like a vampire name,” Vermillion said. “It sounds like a rapist from the eighties.”

course, a glossy black body. “Okay, I’m going to get sued,” Jason said. “This is a straight-up Batmobile.” “I could add non-trademarked badging,” Shade offered, “but you would need a simple and elegant logo. Your personal crest does not translate into a clean, easily iconic symbol.” “Are you saying I need a superhero emblem?” Jason asked. “It would help,” Shade said.

“It means that your vehicle is bleeding,” Javier growled with his wolf mouth. “It doesn’t have any blood,” Andreas said. “I don’t think the guy who fought a zombie army with magic butterflies really cares.”

“I’ve been wondering about you for a long time, Hurin,” he said. “Coming here, acting like you’re so much better than us. Teaching us how to use our powers as if we’re ignorant primitives. You’re supposed to be so great; I’d like to see it for myself.” Farrah conjured her obsidian armour and jagged sword. “Happy to oblige,” she said. Farrah had never been plagued by Jason's self-doubt and fears of moral decay. If someone wanted to make themself her enemy, she would cut them down and sleep like a baby that night.

“Night Stalker?” Jason said. “Like the serial killer from the eighties?” “It doesn’t sound like a serial killer name,” Night Stalker insisted. “Yeah,” Jason agreed. “It doesn’t sound like a serial killer name. It is a serial killer name. There was a guy in the eighties who raped and killed a bunch of people in California. If you're a vampire and you're going to run around calling yourself the Night Stalker, I'm going to put you down now and call it a public service.”

“It’s fine, Jason. He’s not running around killing people; he’s just an idiot. How do you know so much about serial killers?” “I went to school with this guy who collected serial killer trading cards. Greg and I used to…”

“Bloodline domination functions rather like a star seed,” Dawn explained. “Like a star seed, it is extremely difficult to detect outside of special circumstances.”