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“The spa is huuuge,” Emi said. “There’s saunas and massage rooms and creepy old man balls bathhouses.”
“I’ve gone native? You were frying giant worm meat in a village stall on your second day in my world.”
“Is that another old TV show?” Farrah asked. “What is wrong with you people? Jason’s sister made me watch some Airwolf and it was terrible.”
“Are you still breathing? You shouldn’t still need to breathe at silver rank. Have you not been doing those exercises I taught you?”
He extended his hand towards the monster. “Your blood is not yours to keep but mine on which to feast.”
“We just watched a solo category two wipe out a swarm of elementals and a cat-three the size of a train car in forty-three seconds.”
Ruth didn't look like a Russian bodybuilder so much as like she’d eaten a Russian bodybuilder and wanted to fist-fight a bear to work off the carbs.
“To briefings about fighting monsters from another dimension using magic powers. Ninja Turtle shirts should be the uniform.”
People with weapon essences fell into three camps. One conjured their weapons, usually with multiple options for multiple situations. Another used the best weapon of their type that they could find, using their abilities to enhance them further. The last type did both, using their real weapon personally and employing conjured weapons for various unusual attacks and abilities.
On the day the first monsters arrived, the course of human history was irrevocably changed.
“People are idiots,” Yumi said. “They always choose a simple lie over a complex truth.
“Do you play Dungeons & Dragons?”
She went wide-eyed when she spotted him standing with a sandwich in one hand and what looked like iced tea in the other. “What are you doing?” she asked. He looked down at his hands in confusion. “Do you not know how sandwiches work?
she remained wary of the strange man who mixed absurdity, power, and horror in equal measure.
He started chanting, his intonations cold as the merciless void of space.
Asano is an Australian, multicultural, yobbo Bruce Wayne.”
“Magic pushes people to extremes,” Shade said. “Power gives people the chance to be what they truly desire. It strips away the layers they place between their deepest selves and their behaviour.”
“We have proof!” “So does climate change and how’s that going? If I hear anyone on our side peddling a line about the EOA being behind this, I will personally have wild monkey sex with your father.” “My father’s dead, you arsehole.” “Then he won’t struggle, will he? Get back to work.”
“Death is a poor legacy.”
“If you don’t like the way of things, then change them. All you need is enough power.”
“It’s a diplomatic trip,” Jason said. “Right up until it isn’t,” Farrah countered.
great adventurers are the ones that turn opportunity into fortune.
“You’re still complaining about that?” Jason asked. “Coming from someone still angry they reused footage for the fourth season of Airwolf,” Asya said.
“What flaws?” “Are you serious? You believe in freedom but have the heart of a tyrant. You’ll do what you think is right, regardless of what it costs or who gets in your way. That would be obnoxious enough if you were always right, but you have a nasty habit of getting confident first and informed second.
“Nice to see you embrace the ‘I’m coming to kill your children’ look,” Farrah said.
He bowed his head. “I don’t think I’m built for this,” he whispered. “I’m not the guy who saves the world. I’m the comic relief sidekick.”
“I’m not sure you understand how compliments work.”
Why did a rich girl in 2010 know anything about Tom Selleck’s moustache?
This is a framed set of animation cels from Beast King GoLion.”
“I’ll have to disagree about modesty,” Jason said. “Always either be modest or wildly self-aggrandising. Avoid anything in between, for there lies mediocrity.”
“After all this time, it’s not how this moment was meant to go.” “I wouldn’t worry about it,” Jason said. “Star Wars fans feel like this every time a new movie comes out.”
“I also need your mother’s permission,” he added, upon which Emi turned a weaponised expression of longing on her mother.
“I don’t think he’s like that,” Itsuki said. “Look at the things he’s done. It’s clear how hard he’s trying to be a good man.” “Exactly,” Koya said. “Good men don’t have to try.”
He considered himself a disciplined man, but given the choice between dry magical theory and the soft lips of a beautiful woman, he knew he wasn’t that disciplined.
The opposite of good is easy.
“My first night in the other world, my friend Rufus told me that I had a choice. I could let other people protect me or take the power to control my own fate.”
Even as bad as things have gotten, do you think I want the planet ruled by people with eight-century-old social values and a thirst for human blood?”
“Look, banana republic General Zod,” Jason said. “This is your chance to walk away. Fly away, whatever. Please take it.”
I was staring down the barrel of a long, mediocre life. I lived more in the last six months than in the six years before it. Running around, fighting monsters with my magic powers. I got laid so much.” “Mate…” “I know, but I totally did. I met beautiful women from other dimensions and played board games with a vampire. I had magic powers. Steampunk magic powers. I got killed by a supervillain and died fighting to save the world.
“I’m going to tell you to stay focused. Keep your eye on what we died for, not the fact that we died.”
“You’re Jason Asano,” one of them said. “I’m wearing his underwear, so I hope so,” Jason said.
“A vampire is not alive,” Dawn said. “Its body is a vessel for stolen life force.”
“You’re one of those people that sees a guy on the TV and thinks ‘I could take him,’ aren’t you?”
Carracci’s The Choice of Hercules
He hated that after years of wanting to visit Venice, this was the state in which he found it.
“Beer and titties!” they called out. “Beer and titties!” he responded with a grin, pumping his own fist into the air.
