More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I was seven years old, I barely had any understanding of body image, but already I was told that I wasn’t good enough.
“And the way I coped—bingeing and purging with food, running through my neighborhood every single day until my feet bled and I’d burned off every calorie I’d consumed, pretending to be perfect, pretending I enjoyed it—it wasn’t healthy.
His expression changed again, the vulnerability washing away, his eyes burning dark. “It’s…it’s like… In that room, in that moment, I’m the whole world. I’m the whole world, Ains. I control everything. Whether they live. Whether they die. I’m the only one who gets to control any of it. In the beginning, they beg me to give them mercy, but by the end…they’re begging for death.”
I was silent, letting what he’d said wash over me. For a long time, I’d known what my husband did. I’d known his darkness. But knowing it and hearing it from him firsthand were two different things. As much as I’d told myself I could be okay with everything, I found myself conflicted. I was a woman, after all. I was raising a daughter. It was men like him that made life harder for us all. Terrifying for us all. But that didn’t stop me from loving him. It didn’t make me want him less.
I’d promised Ainsley I wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore. That there would be no more secrets. But sometimes, our hands are forced. Sometimes, the secrets don’t give you any choice.
He was a loner. A rapist. A felon. A murderer. An all-around bad guy. The world was a better place without him. Thanks to me.
I don’t want to be on a team with you. And you don’t really want to be on a team with me, either. For so long, I’ve wished you would. For so long. But wishing isn’t doing me any good anymore. You’ve shown me who you are, and now, I have to make a choice about who I am.”
“You can’t do this. You’re not this person.” “Correction: I wasn’t this person. But you made me into her.”
Sorry, honey. We’re in this together, remember? After all, rules are rules. Guess I had just one more secret. How’s that for full circle?
