All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep: Hope—and Hard Pills to Swallow—About Fighting for Black Lives

by Andre Henry

a fatal flaw of many predominantly white institutions, something I’ll expound on in this chapter: namely, that they prioritize racial diversity over racial equity.

White institutions are often far more interested in appearing nonracist than in sharing real institutional power or intentionally considering, much less serving, Black people’s interests.

Black people may need to rethink the fight for the proverbial seat at the table in white institution...

I say all of this for the benefit of my beloved Black siblings struggling to thrive in institutions that were never made for you. You probably aren’t hallucinating if you feel like you entered an org that seemed excited to have you because you are Black and then seems to punish and marginalize you for that very same reason.

intentions and impact aren’t always the same thing.

Until an institution is actively investigating and confronting white supremacy within the organization, it’s a racist institution.

Real antiracism is tangible. It includes things like buy-in from senior leadership, efforts to educate staff and leaders, accountability for racist behavior, explicit inclusion of antiracism in the core values of the institution, and incorporation of Black people and people of color in positions of real institutional power.

I’ve explained to Instagram trolls that solving white supremacy isn’t Black people’s responsibility, any more than ending human trafficking is the responsibility of sex slaves.

Too often, people who think they’re nonracists mistake Negrophilia for genuine love.

the little cuts kill.

Ibram X. Kendi writes: “I do not use ‘microaggression’ anymore…. A persistent daily low hum of racist abuse is not minor. I use the term ‘abuse’ because aggression is not as exacting a term.

Black women may understand the struggles Black men have, but Black men will never fully understand the intersection of Black femininity. Therefore, while a Black man may breathe a sigh of relief to come home to a Black woman who “gets it,” a Black woman may very well come home to sexist abuse from a Black man.

Black family is resistance in a world that fears Black people in groups.

Black people deserve more than struggle—we deserve to enjoy our lives without fear, just like anyone else.