How to Fall Out of Love Madly

by Jana Casale

and really that’s what she was looking for: affirmation of being cared about by the person she cared about.

It was nice to be adored; it was nice to feel like this chosen person was choosing her.

Only a small number of strangers in your life will ever care to know you, let alone to love you,

“Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for spending money on fashion,” she’d said once. “Do men apologize for nice cars? Boats? A watch collection? Never. It’s sexist bullshit used to make women feel like what they love is less worthy. There is no difference between a nice bag and a nice car, remember that.”

anytime she showed any enthusiasm to see him it was a disaster.

There was apparently a whole show where Oprah told women that they shouldn’t “waste the pretty” on terrible men.

anything he did elicited that kind of response: you wanted to be the answer to his question.

That’s what a person does. We make excuses for other people. We invent reasons why something is off or odd or wrong. We give people a latitude of empathy that sometimes is warranted and sometimes isn’t. That’s what a person does. Or at least that’s what a woman does.

Was it ever really love or was it wanting to be wanted by someone who was so impossibly difficult?

“Oh no, I do get it. You’re hurting yourself for some stupid useless man.

I always thought living alone would make me feel lonely. I thought it would point out every deficit in my life, but it’s been the total opposite of that. I feel more complete than I ever have as an adult before.

why is there such a tenderness in me to want to take care of someone, to help stop the pain of someone who caused me so much pain?