I was recently at a dinner where a discussion began about a family friend who had just divorced her husband. She is now dating a woman. An unquestioned and benevolent consensus around the table was, Well, she’s obviously a lesbian, and she can finally be herself. Unsurprisingly, my contribution to the discussion was that perhaps she is bisexual, and simply fell in love first with her husband, and later with a woman. Without having her in the room and asking her, we weren’t going to be able to find out. But you can see how quickly in such situations people erase, or never even consider,
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