The Devil Takes You Home

by Gabino Iglesias

A mi familia And to the city of Austin, for trying to kill me

All we had to do was stay strong. Our little angel would go into remission in no time. God was good. He wouldn’t let a baby suffer. No one deserves miracles more than unlucky angels.

Even awful diseases are fucking racist.

“Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it. God always takes from those who have nothing to give, and I’m tired of it.”

I was driving into Austin when my phone rang. It was Melisa. All I heard was screaming and crying. I understood her clearly.

Anita’s death killed my family.

Having a baby had been her idea, and everything that followed was her fault.

“Don’t come looking for me,” read the last line of the note. “The thing that held us together is now food for the worms.”

I was losing it. I’d never even made it outside. That night, I couldn’t sleep.

I’d only done it to get money for Anita. Now I was just a shitty wife-beater waiting for the cops that never came. I thought again about driving off some bridge, ending it all.

Soon I was thinking about Anita. Her smell. Her smile. The softness of her skin. She had been loved. She was still loved. We’d failed, but Melisa and I had tried to protect her from everything.

The idea that he would kill only those who he thought deserved it was easy to understand. The men I’d killed deserved to die, but they didn’t haunt my dreams. Melisa, on the other hand, was an anvil of guilt crushing my chest.

Being in the presence of monsters is okay as long as you don’t think too much about what they’re capable of. The scarier thing is when you realize what you’re capable of yourself.