The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer (Murder Sprees and Mute Decrees #1)

by Jennifer Cody

Once upon a time, a mute boy fell in love with an unapologetic murderer. Ok, it happened last Thursday at the diner where I’d worked for all of thirty minutes before a man wearing shit kickers, a black A-shirt, yoga pants, and like a hundred pounds of guns and ammo came into the diner and called out, “Steak and eggs, scrambled with sourdough, and a black coffee.” The man didn’t even sit, he just announced his order. And then all hell broke loose. Every patron in the diner started attacking him with bullets and knives and their bodies. All the man wanted was some breakfast and suddenly all the other customers wanted him dead. I watched in absolute horror with my back pressed up against the wall as the man shredded every person in the diner. It wasn’t even a one-at-a-time thing. I saw him get a two-fer with one of his hand guns, and when one of my customers tried to get him with a sword—like, where did he even get a fucking sword?—the man stole the sword and skewered two people onto one of the metal tables. With the goddamn sword. By the time the stragglers were starting to realize that thirty against one was maybe a bit unfair odds in his favor, the diner was probably never going to reopen, and I wasn’t holding out much hope of getting paid for my hour. As the last person dropped with a death gurgle, the cook rang the bell. “Order up!” The man, breathing hard and covered in the crimson flow of life and death—i.e., blood—looked at me, straightened his back, and adjusted his ...