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they had to switch tack and squash her for being proud that she was so goddamned stupid.
Nona always loved this answer unreasonably; the idea that that was when Camilla met her, that was her birth.
He said, Told M— that. Huge mistake. She was like, Oh my God, you’re drinking, aren’t you. You’re on amphetamines. You are on coke. You are on amphetamines and coke. I was all, Yeah … Coke Zero. She didn’t laugh. I laughed.
It’s SO unserious and I love it
“Domestic life,” said Pyrrha to Camilla, over Nona’s head, “is immensely depressing and has a lowering effect on the ego.”
P— said I looked like a Māori TV Pink Panther. C— said I looked like Edward Cullen from that old Twilight movie, if Edward Cullen had the body of a history teacher. A— said I looked cool. He was the only one.
Salt water had always relieved her: salt water made her feel as though, if there was someone in there with her, she would suddenly know the words to tell them everything.
Nona didn’t want to die, but she wanted to sit in the water and drowse, which she was forced to admit was the same thing eventually.
“I haven’t eaten sand in months,” Nona protested, then more truthfully: “Weeks,” and more truthfully than that: “One week.”
But Nona loved the blue sphere as much as she loved everything else. She, and nobody else, could hear it sing. “Good night, Varun,” she said.
Two scientists, an engineer, a detective, a lawyer, and an artist walk into a bar to help me become God.
He sighed and said, “We had the internet. We decided to stream.” She said, “What is this internet?” And he said, “See, I did make a utopia.”
PLEASE
“Have you forgotten Varun the Eater all of a sudden?” asked We Suffer mildly. “Have you forgotten hive exposure and blue madness, for the sake of your argument?”
?????
“This is for saying boobs, and for being boobs yourselves.
“Pash,” said Crown darkly, “is what happens when nepotism and bullshit collide. Boobs and hair…?! My hair is naturally big and manageable, dickhead! I haven’t been able to condition properly for a year!”
Lmao
“Dust of my dust—such similar star salt—what they did to you and what they wrung from you and what shape they made you fill—we see you still—we seek you still—we murdered—we who murder—you inadvertent tool—you misused green thing—come back to us—take vengeance for us—we saw you—we see you—I see you.”
“Ninth, where is the mercy of the Tomb? Where is your sword in the coffin? Who are your masters now, and who do you master? Where is my cavalier, Reverend Daughter? Where is yours?” Her voice rose. “Because I saw her in the waves—she was there in the grey water—I saw them all—they hurt me—where is my hunger? I eat and eat and eat without surcease, my green thing, my green-and-breathing thing…”
“You darling, I know what you are, even if they refuse to see it,” she said softly. “All I can say, sweetheart, is I envy you more than anyone else in the universe.”
You’ve got a wizard out in the wop-wops who’s now got blanket bans from nearly every video upload site and a whole bunch of people have entered the country because of his YouTube channel, the government isn’t all, Love that small-business entrepreneur spirit. The government says, This is a cult.
He said, I guess you could say … we had beef. When she did not laugh he said, “I can’t believe nobody’s ever going to laugh at my jokes again. I can’t believe it. It’s all gone, I’m the only one left. It’s just me and you and no more jokes.” She said, “I still love you.” And he laughed and said, “That was a good one.” Then he wept again.
It was the face of the girl in her dream. And their eyes— After that first, astonishing moment, Nona stared without seeing in a wild paralysis of recognition.
“All these promises are made by no lowlier personages than myself and Her Most Serene Highness, Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia, heir to the First House, the Emperor’s only daughter.”
GURL!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!
Around twenty-six highly unusual bad things had happened to her today, and she had assumed she only had room for six unusual bad things before she had a tantrum; it must mean she was growing up.
Same girl
She wondered again why anything that hurt them only hurt briefly, but that anger took such a long time to go away.
Beautiful Ruby said, injured, “How come it’s cool to ask if your people got hurt or killed but not okay to say one’s a pimp,” and Honesty said, “It’s tact, little man, it’s tact.”
M— and A— were a united front, and that was scary as fuck.
Inside the hood she heard her mouth say, savage and distinct and cool despite the trembles: “Fool. You’re killing her.” But she was only talking to herself, after all.
He said, Back at home I told them, they want to call us a cult, let’s be a cult. It only takes a little bit of eyeliner and a couple capes. N— already had eyeliner and capes.
He said, I told them I’d save them. And I said, I’m a necromancer.
Crown’s voice was quiet. “Ianthe, please. Please. There’s so much I don’t understand. About you … about what happened … about Gideon.” The voice did not sound at all pleased when it said, “So you do remember her name.” “I was on a shuttle with her body for months and months. I want to know what’s going on.”
Nona felt something strange. There was a hot trickle from her nose, and when Camilla wiped her face with her sleeve it was revealed to be a bright red streamlet of blood.
He was all, Matter doesn’t play by these rules! You’re doing bone parthenogenesis! I told him his mum did bone parthenogenesis. A— told me he’d kill me one day.
I MEAN LMAO
am glad you did not tell us this. We had no idea there was any recourse from Varun the Eater’s effects, nor any Beast.”
“Look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me,” and then, “More eyebrows,” and then, “Good God, perfect. Do you know, I miss Harrow terribly.”
STOP
Her body had been playing strange games with her ever since she had recovered from the last tantrum.
“Stop being so fucking dramatic—” “Staaahp being so fucking dramahhhtic,” Crown mimicked, in a high-pitched voice. “This isn’t the time, you dumb, hilarious bitch!”
LMAO I JUST CANT ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY
The body said, “I died, and you carried me. I gambled, and you covered my bet. You kept the faith, and were the instrument of both my vengeance and my grace. And now I have fought through time, and the River, and Ianthe the First—fought and bested Ianthe the First, and I hope I never fight her ever again … Will you not look at me now, Cam, and know me?” Camilla raised her chin. She looked at the dead face. She said quietly— “Yes, Warden, I will always know you.”
SHUR THE FUCK IP
“Let’s not get too cute about it, though. My best friend and I punched her out an airlock. Apart from that, I was ready to commit.”
“Camilla Hect,” said Palamedes, “I would slap you—except Naberius Tern trying to slap you would force me to kick my own ass.”
Yes, thank you
“One, that’s not going to work. Two, I fucking hate needles,” said the corpse. “Three—Sex Pal, if that’s how you get a lady’s pants off, holy shit, no wonder I stole your girl.”
Nona’s heart fluttered. It didn’t even matter when Kiriona said, “Sure, Cam. Marry a moron, then die. I get the urge.”
LMAOOOOO
She closed her eyes. “No,” she finally admitted. “And I never was.”
He said, When I touched her soul, I touched you. He said, You were the noise that was everywhere. It was like trying to talk to someone down a phone line with someone screaming through a megaphone in the same room. You drowned everything out. You were so huge and so complicated, and you were screaming. You wouldn’t stop screaming. You were so scared. You were so goddamn mad. She said, “I was?” He said, “It wasn’t your fault.”
For fuck’s sake, can someone please stop my mother from walking around talking to Blood of Eden?
LMAO
“Out of the frying pan,” she said, “into another frying pan—falling out of that frying pan—into the underworld, where there is a huge frying pan where the devils dance, and say, ‘Fuck to you.’”
All she could see was that they were different. And the features, though in the same order, were making such a different set of expressions—not Camilla’s, not Palamedes’s—that it struck Nona all at once: they were gone—they had left her—they were no longer there.
PAUL!??????? PAUL????
