No Strings

by Lucy Bexley

The shower had helped, Jones realized as she slipped on jeans and dabbed some concealer under her eyes. Getting dressed helped too. It was one of the little ways she often tried to trick her brain into functioning. Jeans, a nice shirt, and fancy shoes were sometimes enough to get her out into the world. The costume of an okay person. She wanted to be annoyed with Elsie for having a point, but it was the same advice she often gave herself. Nothing fixed her depression, but sometimes these little things shifted the bricks weighing her down just enough that she could draw in a breath and move a little. She pulled her hoodie back on over her shirt though, just in case she needed to retreat into it later.

Jones came back down after washing her face. She felt uncertain about being so vulnerable. Her eyes were underscored with dark circles and the little lines that makeup usually hid well enough, but something inside her wanted Elsie to see. Maybe to give her another chance to turn back. Before she invested too much. Before they both did. Elsie was in the kitchen spreading peanut butter on a Pop-Tart. “Sorry, I’ve been running all day so I made toast. Are those my clothes?” Jones looked down at the loose sweatpants and baggy Haters Gonna Hate t-shirt with Statler and Waldorf. “Yes.” “And here I thought the dress was sexy. This is another level completely, Jones Haelstrom.” Elsie took a step toward her and gave her a quick kiss. When Jones licked her lips after Elsie pulled away, she tasted peanut butter, and a second later her stomach let out a mortifying grumble. “Yours are already in the toaster.” Elsie took a bite of her food, chewing like she was contemplating something. Or maybe she was just dealing with the glue of peanut butter. Jones felt her eyes roaming everywhere. “Unless you want mine?” Jones wasn’t sure where Elsie had found Pop-Tarts because they definitely weren’t on her shopping list. “Did you…bring Pop-Tarts to my house?” “You’re welcome.” Elsie grinned, holding hers out for Jones to take a bite. Jones finished chewing and uncemented her tongue from the roof of her mouth. The sweet jam with the warm pastry really wasn’t bad, but Elsie was still someone she wa...