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It’s time you learn to allow your successes to outweigh your failures. They’re more important in the end.”
It was during moments like these that I felt a love so instinctive, so primal, I wanted to wrap Pharaoh in bubble wrap and take him everywhere with me, just to make sure no one ever hurt him again.
Pharaoh was so fucking pure. He was born kind, gentle, loyal. He provided everyone around him with love, light, talent, peace. He could give me all of that and more, but he deserved the same from me, and I wasn’t in a position to be what he truly deserved.
“There isn’t a single thing that I regret, Phoenix Royal,” he began, and that voice of his was full of gravel, sexy and deep, causing my heart to further splinter. “I spent too many months wondering, wishing I knew what it was like to have you in my arms, feel my hands on your body, thinking of what you might taste like, but what I wanted most was to know what it would be like to be loved by you.”
“I know in my heart you were never meant to fall for me, but you are meant to love me, so just do it. Take this opportunity and pray that in the end, we both get everything we ever wanted.”
you taught me that the pain either dies with me and all my demons, decades too soon, or it dies with my choice to live. One is easier than the other—just ending it all and not giving a single fuck—while the other takes courage.
Freedom wasn’t liberating. Not this time. No, this time…freedom was intimidating.
“What makes that heart explode, Judah?” A small, tender smile burned across my Skyscraper’s lips at my final question, but he didn’t reply until the wide gap of space between us was nearly closed, until he was just within touching distance. “Well, that’s the easiest question to answer,” he told me softly, sweetly, “you do, Phoenix Royal. Only you can make my heart explode.”
Together, in the dirt, we both let go of all the pain, felt our way through every up and down, every failure and success, in the only way we could. We shattered. We remembered. We regretted and re-lived until we couldn’t cry anymore, and the agony was no longer a rolling boil, but rather a steaming pot of potential.
Even as I, too, struggled to breathe, the air between us was darkened with lust but light with love, and I wanted to bottle up the feeling and sell it for millions.
“Broken, whole, shattered, even non-existent…I want you without conditions, Judah. This hand is mine to hold.”
My little bird fucked me with expert precision, jumping up and down on my dick like it was the end of the world and our last chance to fuck.
I’m still not sure if it was a dream Or my memory made it feel like one But in the midnight hour of a random weekday A little bird met me on the roof A party raged below, full of everything I hated Of everything I loved Booze, drugs, and neon lights, Started and ended in a fight. I was pissed and feeling sick Dancing with demons, smoking cigarettes One by one and back to back, Hoping one day it would all go black But then she was there That little bird Shining brightly in my living hell And even then I had a feeling it wouldn’t end well I didn’t care, there were no fucks given Because she was
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On the wings of a bird
I learned to fly
On my own without a parachute
Just me inside my mind
Because of her I learned to love
Because of her I learned the truth
Because of her I am the man you see right here in front of you.
