Sorrow and Starlight (Zodiac Academy, #8)

by Caroline Peckham

One nummy leaf at a time, I would munch my way towards my destiny and face it head on when the time came.

I found her dipping me backwards as she claimed my mouth with her own, and I clung to her like a damn barnacle on the hull of a ship.

“It matters not where a trinket rests, whether it be upon the scaley slapper chaps of that most loathsome of cretins or down a dump shoot, covered in Griffin poop.

I picked up my robe, donning it as Stella panted against the wall, holding herself up as she sagged there, ravaged and no doubt satisfied beyond all bounds.

So it looked like the Undercover A.S.S. had just bagged themselves a K.U.N.T.

Maybe he got hit on the head and he’s lost all memory of who he was, and now he identifies as a bird, and we’ll find him in there with his wings out and his eyes all cuckoo as he tries to communicate to us in bird language.”

“I don’t care who he is, his ass whistled in my mouth,” I snapped.

Caleb wasn’t king of the ruins. Maybe I just fancied a trip up the belltower. Maybe I just liked the view from up there. It had nothing to do with him. Nothing at all.

“Milady!” Justin cried. “The dastards approach from yonder!” “Yonder?” she gasped. “From whence did you come, you bucktailed barklouse?” “Over the bracken hills and the whistling woodlands,” Justin called.

Could have rolled his sleeve back and touched his arm, but whatever Trevor. I wasn’t the touching police.

“We’re being far too predictable.” He picked up a rock, throwing it at an unsuspecting rebel and it bounced off the guy’s head, his cry of pain cutting the air.

Dante shifted from somewhere along the barrier of thorns and ice before taking off into the sky with a muscular man and a petite woman holding a baby on his back.

Rebels’ Undying Mighty Province!”

“R.U.M.P.?” Seth demanded furiously. “So now we’re all just asses on the rump? I told you she’d do this. I said that she’d-”

perhaps you’ll spend some time speaking to Xavier once he’s let down from that humiliating harness?” Xavier flew over us again just at that moment, his head hanging in shame as he heard my mom speak those words. “Now look what you’ve done,” I hissed, pointing at sad little Xavier in the sky. “Sure, it’s embarrassing. Demeaning even-” Xavier whinnied woefully, apparently hearing me say that as he sailed by again. Damn, horse ears were more sensitive than I’d realised.

“I would. I’d go up in that harness and I wouldn’t care how shameful, mortifying, embarrassing, and reputation-shattering it looked,” I said proudly, hearing Xavier neigh mournfully again in response to my words.

“I’m not gonna fight you for every stick I make, Infer-” He coughed hard like he’d just breathed in a bug. “-nal asshole.”

“Ah!” I yelped in panic, pressing the stone back to my skin. “Give it back, you nipple stealing rock of doom!”

The tiny bedroom I’d been given in the back corner of the R.U.M.P. Castle was big enough for little more than my bed alone, which seemed extra insulting seeing as I’d given every drop of my magic to Gerry while she created the damn thing.

“He is my steed. Allow him passage,” I ordered, and Max grumbled something I didn’t catch as he headed yonder.

“Take me to Davy Jones’ Locker, and plunder my treasure chest with your sea cucumber.”

“Were you just about to touch The Untouchable Egg?”

“What do you think is inside it?” “Nothing good,” he said darkly. “I don’t think you should mess with ancient Phoenix artefa-” I threw the egg on the floor, and it smashed into fifty pieces.

“Of all the deaths we’ve faced, I would never have predicted we’d be threatened with a praying mantis in a music box.”

“Cute? Dogs are cute, like your little lap dog, Seth, but I’m-” “Ohmagod,” I gasped, cutting over him. “You just said Seth is cute.”

“Now we just need your Phoenix to wake the fuck up.” I pressed my face against her chest. “Get out here, you little shit.”

“Are you all quite done posturing like a bunch of peacocks at a tea party?” Geraldine snapped, looking between us Heirs with narrowed eyes.

Geraldine leaned close, pressing her ear to Caleb’s other ear which wasn’t against the door. “Perhaps I can use you as an ear trumpet,” she whispered to herself, and I sniggered.

“Your unworthy paws cannot handle the intricacies of opening such a door.” Geraldine moved forward, raising a hand in a theatrical movement then slamming it down on the handle and opening the door like a normal fucking door.

“Left, right, left,” Geraldine called the directions to him, tugging on his ears to drive him like a racehorse while I craned my neck to scowl up at them.

“Fine, I’ll just stand here like an unwanted almond,” I said loudly, but they ignored me. “No one likes an almond.”

Stars save me from the unholy demon vag.

Horror pooled into my gut as I took in what he’d done, what he’d just placed between himself and the world like a wall of pure muscle and power. He’d Guardian bonded himself to them. Every last one.

“Darcy,” I barked, like I was scolding a naughty pet. “You know me, you hairy asshole.”

Though how the hell she’d birthed this fully grown man a matter of hours ago was beyond me.

“If I’m ever in a position to free him,” I began, because surely if Darcy and I took the throne we would have the power to release people from prison, but Rosalie shook her head sadly. “He made a Death bond with Lionel Acrux. One that cannot be broken. The only way he could get around it would be by breaking out,” she said bitterly, flicking a page in her book as if searching for something to do with her hands. “Or if someone breaks him out…”

“Seth Capella, I command you with the task of presenting our noble Tyler Corbin with that ring, can you manage such an important mission?” “You mean, just take this ring to Tyler?” I asked dryly. “You’re right,” she sighed. “It is far too much for your simple mind to handle.” She reached for the ring, and I slapped her palm away with a growl, picking it up and pocketing it. “I can handle it. And my mind is very complex by the way.”

I crawled fully into his arms, my bulk making him grunt as I slammed down onto his lap and hugged him tight enough to choke him. Just a friendly little choking.

“But I learned to sequester Lady Petunia’s throbbings in class in favour of listening to his teachings, as all of us would agree was a challenge.” She looked to Caleb, Max, and me for us to confirm that, and I nodded several times in agreement before Max kicked my ankle and I started shaking my head instead.

I shoved him away from me, prowling past him and popping our silencing bubble, leaving him behind and not looking back but I made sure to toss a peace sign at the first guy I spotted just in case he was watching me go. The guy in question turned out to be a Nemean Lion Shifter who was in the middle of demonstrating the way he was able to lick his own ass, so that was just great.

“Oh no!” a male voice drew my attention and I glanced up to find a herd of Pegasuses cantering down onto the beach, some in shifted form, some just butt naked and smeared with glitter as they ran in their Fae bodies. “Caleb Altair has found us! He’s horny for the horn!”

“Yeah, I was trying to be an orgy conductor, I waved a stick and everything to make it easier for them to follow my orders.

Remember that time there was a Lunar Eclipse when we were studying at Zodiac Academy, and you, me, Tiberius and Radcliff let Hail Vega dom all of us?”

“Golly! Look at that dazzling dongle!”

“Ew, are you hitting on us?” Sofia wrinkled her nose. “Stars, no,” Seth balked. “I’m in love with-” he half choked on those words. “The moon.”

I hurried down the corridor at his back with Orion beside me and he leaned low to speak in my ear. “You will marry me.” “You know, people usually ask someone if they want to marry them, not just command it,” I whispered. “You’re already mated to me by the stars, what’s there to ask?” “Just because we’re mated doesn’t mean you get to skip a proposal.” I shot him a sharp look. “So you’d better ask really, really nicely the next time you bring this up. And I am making no promises that I’ll say yes.”

When he released me, I found Caleb hugging Gabriel and Orion tried to escape as Seth sprinted for him with his arms outstretched.

“Oh I missed you so much, Gabriel,” Seth said with a choked sob. “We don’t really hang out, like ever,” Gabriel said, patting him on the back.

A noise left her that was somewhere between a gurgling sink and a baby dolphin, then she fell to her knees, tossing her flail aside and crawling towards me, sobbing and choking out words as she went.