Sorrow and Starlight (Zodiac Academy, #8)

by Caroline Peckham

“Stay safe, little Vega,”

“Tory,” Darcy choked out, and it was like I hadn’t been able to breathe until that moment, like my heart had been frozen for weeks and weeks since the last time our gazes had locked and our souls had been in the same place. I ran to her, sheathing my sword and throwing my arms around her through the bars of the cage, a sob of relief tumbling from me as I crushed her in my hold.

my eyes flicking to Orion as our grief over Darius passed between us and my heart twisted in agony for a moment.

“I missed you too, asshole,”

“You fucking idiot,” I barked at Orion as those words sank in, my fist snapping out and punching him straight in the balls.

“What is it with the self-sacrificing bullshit you men keep throwing at us? We’re fucking princesses born to the most powerful bloodline in the whole of Solaria, the first Phoenixes born in a thousand years, and we claimed all four motherfucking Elements just to put the icing on the cake. We aren’t damsels in distress, we didn’t ask you to do any of this shit, and I’m so fucking sick of having to clean up the mess your knight-in-shining-armour routines keep causing!”

“Because you might be saying you missed me, but what you’re really saying is goodbye, and you can stick it up your ass, Darcy. So Orion made a Death bond – sounds like he’s stuck here, but you’re not, are you?”

I did need her. I needed her like I needed air in my lungs, and I was breaking more and more every day that I was forced to remain without her. She was my rock, my sanity, the one thing I had always and would always fight to the death and beyond for, and without her, I was nothing but a ruinous shell of the girl she loved in return.

a small, pathetic little girl inside me wanting to beg her not to turn her back on me now when I had come so far for her, when I had already lost so much. I didn’t know how I’d cope with it if I left this place without her. I couldn’t even fathom the possibility of that happening or what would happen to the last dregs of my soul which were only clinging together because of my love for her.

I would never leave her on her own. But the fear building in my chest was telling me that she was about to abandon me to the dark all over again. She was going to choose him over me.

“I’m assuming you don’t want me to burn all of that pretty white hair off and turn you into a Naked Mole Rat shifter, so I suggest you sit in my pocket like a good Rat and don’t try to bury yourself in my damn cleavage again.”

I got it, she loved him. But I had never put any love of mine above my love of her and never would have either. It broke something in me as I took in the decision she’d made, the last piece of the girl I’d been shattering as I found myself utterly alone in the world with no one to hold on to at all.

She’d picked, and it wasn’t me she chose.

“Never be sorry for protecting her. That’s something the two of us will always put above everything else.”

“You can control this. I know you can. You’ve always been the strong one, the one who could deal with anything in your own calm and indestructible way. I know you can-”

This was between me and her. No matter how far either of us had ever fallen before, there had never once been a time when the other couldn’t drag us back to ourselves. She was it for me and I was for it for her. That one, immovable thing. That tether to the here and now.

There was nothing at all between us but the truth of who we were. Gemini twins. One and the same.

The ruby necklace Darius had given me was still warm against my skin like always. The sensation of his callused hand pressing over mine almost overwhelmed me as I gripped the blood red stone, the feeling of his eyes on me, of him waiting for me just a few steps away enough to make a sob catch in my throat. I could have sworn the warmth of Dragon fire seeped into my veins from the ruby pendant, like Darius was trying to lend me his strength too.

She would be destroyed by this, she’d never come back from it if she killed her other half, and beyond that, Tory had become like kin to me. I couldn’t see her die. I’d sworn to Darius that I’d protect her and wherever my friend was now, I knew he could see his moment, that he was roaring my name in the sky and demanding I save her.

My twin. My fierce, remarkable sister who had been my heroine more times than I could count. She was passion and resilience and fire set alight. She was my burning beacon, and I may have just doused her flames forever.

“I didn’t ask the opinion of a man who stayed home with the children while the rest of us went to war,”

So don’t try to talk down to Roxanya Vega now that she is standing there before you, bloodied and broken from everything that has been stolen from her thanks to all of those failures. You should be on your knees begging her forgiveness.”

She was my other half, but I wasn’t even certain that I was half a girl at all without her now.

I grabbed an oversized shirt from the closet and tugged it on, the black material swamping me and making me think of Darius even though the item had never belonged to him. Nothing of his, barring his treasure, remained to me now. That, the ink on my thigh, and the necklace which seemed to pulse with the presence of him from time to time.

I’d felt the tug, seen the shimmering light of the Veil and even felt an urge to accept that call. Darius would have been waiting for me there, beyond the shroud of light. He’d have been there, and I could have reunited with him, far from all the rot and ruin and agony of this life I clung to.

I’d been hanging on for Darcy, but she’d made her choice and it wasn’t me. It hurt. Hurt so fucking bad I could hardly breathe, but there it was. I wasn’t about to throw myself a pity party over the fact, despite how tempting the idea of that was.

My heart hurt at his name, but I didn’t let that stop me from thinking of him, refusing to balk from the pain of his memory and risk losing him altogether.

But I can always tell when two souls are destined to be with one another. Or sometimes even more than two.” “What do you-” “I have never felt anything like the connection I felt between you and Darius Acrux,”

“The power of your love and hatred burned hotter than the sun itself, the constant tug and pull, a war unending and a passion unyielding. You were two stars always set to collide and cast the world on fire because fuck the consequences.”

I’d ask you to take a tumble with me, but your heart will always be with him, and I don’t want any part of anyone else’s love story.” I arched a brow at that suggestion, wondering if I might have taken her up on the offer if Darius hadn’t already ruined me for every other Fae.

My fate was sealed well before that. With the blade which stole the man I loved from this world and left me here alone to suffer through his loss.

I was done. Done waiting, done giving my all to everyone else, and done hungering for the impossible while my curse upon the stars went unanswered.

“There was a demon vagina,”

“My dreams are saved for more interesting scenarios,” I said lightly, acting as if I gave no shits. When I really gave so many shits. He finished posting and tossed me my Atlas, and I caught it out of the air. Caleb shot behind me in the next second, flicking a silencing bubble around us and speaking in a low voice close to my ear. “Like fucking one of your best friends?”

I’ve reached my limit with this shit, so I’ve gone to take my destiny back from the stars. Gerry, I love you – lead the rebels against the Court of Solaria like you suggested. Make that scaley bastard pay. The rest of you, try not to cry too much if I don’t make it back, I was a mean bitch anyway. x

Never in my life had I submitted like this. Not to anyone in any way. No one but him.

I was his in that moment, utterly, undeniably, his.

“We’re a bad idea,” I voiced part of my fears, feeling the rising sun gilding my back in gold. “The worst,” he agreed, and a sharp lump rose in my throat. “Now get over here and kiss me, Capella.”

Darion. As in Darcy and Orion. Dar-ion. It’s their couple name. Like you guys would be…Xavylia. And Tory and Darius are Torius-”

“You know what, Lance?” “What, beautiful?” I asked. “Sometimes you’re an asshole.” “Don’t sell me short, I’m an asshole all the time.”

“Can I help you, beautiful?” she parroted me, and I pressed my tongue into my cheek. “You can, actually.”

“How about you lie down and spread those pretty thighs for me like a good girl and I’ll use my tongue to make you like me again,” I offered. “How about get fucked,” she said airily, and I growled, my hold on her tightening. “How about you watch your mouth, or I’ll stop playing nice.” “Maybe I don’t want you to play nice,” she said, eyes sparkling furiously. “Maybe I’m sick of you being nice with your overprotective bullshit.” “Someone really pissed in your cereal today, didn’t they?” I growled.

“What did I say about watching that filthy mouth of yours?” I spanked the side of her ass cheek hard enough to make her spine arch and a string of curses fall from her lips, only causing me to spank her again. “Manners, Blue.”

“Because I’d bet you fifty auras you’re soaked for me, beautiful.” “I’m dryer than your humour,” she said.

She nuzzled against me like a cat, and I grinned stupidly at her, nuzzling her back as if I was one of the cuddlier Orders. Only ever for her. And alright, maybe Darius in the past.

Darius had fallen for everything about me that wasn’t royal long before he’d come to accept my bloodline anyway. For him, I was Roxy. The girl who fought back, the one who brought him to his knees and had forced him to challenge the stars themselves once before already. We’d won that time. So I liked our odds now too.

“Here’s to us, husband,”

The call of my one true love… Ah shit, being poisoned was making me go all romantic.

the whispering of the stars impossibly loud against my ears as they watched me pass through them, and I couldn’t help but flip them off as I went.

I had vengeance to dole out and a promise to keep to the man I loved.