Sorrow and Starlight (Zodiac Academy, #8)

by Caroline Peckham

“Give it back, you nipple stealing rock of doom!”

“Here, give yourself a book boner. It’ll make you think of Orion.”

building, I’d been hit over the head with a bagel, called at least eighteen different types of fish-based insults, and was pretty certain I would be getting laid tonight too.

“Well, my lady, it is a bit of a conundrum. They wish to honour you by bowing, and yet you take the bowing as something of an insult, which in turn makes them want to placate and honour you more, so they bow lower, but then you do not appear appeased by that, so then they have no choice but to bow even lower and-”

If it had been my baby he’d come to kiss, I think I would have hurled myself and the child out of the window before allowing his poisonous mouth anywhere near it.

“You cannot look at me thus and not expect to dive deep into my lady waters,”

“Is that code for ‘please fuck me’?”

“Take me to Davy Jones’ Locker, and plunder my treasure chest with your sea cucumber.”

“Ravish me like a knight of the Esterburn army. Seize me like the Castle of Norington and plunge your weapon into my moat,”

But my, my, he was the possessor of a sea beast between his thighs, and I welcomed it deep into my coral reef,

All Phoenixes shall be my adversaries from this day forth, and I shall twist their fates so they fail in all endeavours, their lives will be full of sorrow, and there will be no way out until the promise is kept. Either that, or their Order shall fall, and no more will ever walk this earth.”

“Of all the deaths we’ve faced, I would never have predicted we’d be threatened with a praying mantis in a music box.”

The doors flew open, and the mantis came stumbling out with Orion on its back, choking the life out of the thing as it screeched and flailed.

“Get away from my mate, you creepy-crawly son of a bitch!”

“Fear the Bonded men!” he blurted to me. “The night the Hydra bellows is coming, and fate has shifted! We must get word to the others, we must tell them that-”

Two Phoenixes, born of fire, rising from the ashes of the past. The wheel of fate is turning, and the Dragon is poised to strike. But blood of the deceiver may change the course of destiny. Beware the man with the painted smile who lingers close to your side. Turn the scorned. Free the enslaved. Fear the Bonded men. Many will fall for one to ascend. Suffer the curse. The hunter will pay the price. Do not repeat the mistakes of the past. Keep the broken promise. Mend the rift. All that hides in the shadows is not dark. Blood will out. Seal your fate. Choose your destiny.

“Ohmagod,” I gasped, cutting over him. “You just said Seth is cute.”

“And I hope you don’t mind, but I made a little nest out of your things.” He pointed to the book, the Guild Stone, and a few strips of an old ‘Long Live Lionel Acrux’ t-shirt I’d had half whipped off of me by Lavinia which must have ended up in there somehow. “I’ll keep your treasures nice and safe. You can count on me.”

pretending not to notice as he started licking the grass where I’d been standing while claiming it was blessed by the press of my boots.

Loqui tossed a handful of sage into the fire and Vidi poured some salt from a glass shaker into her palm, swiping it over her tongue while Audire simply began begging the sky for forgiveness as they all worked to clear their home of my curse upon the celestial beings.

In the heart of the Damned Forest, beyond the Waters of Depth and Purity, lies the Ever-Changing Winds of Sky and Spirit. The Endless Drop will take you through the Fires of the Abyss and beyond them, where the ether lies thickest, your answers await.

and keep my promise to the heartless stars once and for all.

backing up a step and offering a peace sign which instantly froze my blood in my veins.

oracles. And they looked like goddesses given flesh. I swear to fuck, I almost wish I was gay for the sake of those women alone.”

something about a public shit being less uncomfortable than this as he went.

telling me all he could see in the Seer’s head were visions of a giant nest shaped like a falcon and fine sticks inlaid with gemstones.

“We see you, Lionel Acrux,” Blue said icily. “We see your weakness.”

“Maxy boy?” I asked, and that scoundrel of a sea lion looked my way with a frown on his brow. “If I were in mortal peril, would you risk all to save me, throw yourself between me and death, give up everything just to see me survive?” “Of course I would, Gerry,” he said, his eyes softening like the wet kipper I had suspected he was.

“As such, I shall be in a differing group to you, ensuring that the mission is put before anything else and nothing is risked on account of my worthless existence.”

“Oh sure, let’s just go with Tory’s plan. She’s so pretty and has such perfect hair and has magical tits that can-” “Dude, are you in love with your dead best friend’s widow?” Leon hissed in a whisper so loud even the clams in the distant sea could surely hear him. “’Cause that’s fucked up.”

‘A sprouting hair upon bust or chin, proved there was a true Dragon within.’

impenetrable than my closely guarded vagina – destined only for the use of a Dragon of purest blood and honour. None had tried to breech either thus far, but I was ready if they did. And always wary. For a vagina such as mine was a high prize to claim indeed. No doubt my snookums had dreamed of it day and night before his demise.

Though the idea of having Cal beneath me, showing him exactly how much fun two guys could have together was seriously appealing too. Oh my stars…I’m a switch.

“Do not distract me, you cad of a codfish.

“Perhaps I can use you as an ear trumpet,” she whispered to herself, and I sniggered.

She is a callous cockroach, a hag of a hornet, a-”

“Cunt of a caterpillar?”

“You know me, you hairy asshole.”