The First to Die at the End

by Adam Silvera

As for me, I’ve been reborn and I have a lot of living to do.

“Rich people are why we can’t have nice things.”

This is one of those firsts that can double as a last.

I was wrong to think I no longer have a life to run for. I do. It’s just not my own.

I’m upset that the world is about to lose this extraordinary human.

“I’m your friend to the end, Valentino.”

“Rufus . . .”

Holy shit I'm losing it.

He can’t even imagine Rufus spending his End Day with a stranger.

😭

“It’s history, I guess.” Valentino trashes the newspaper. “I’m not history, Orion. I’m here.”

But when anyone looks through this album of pictures, all they’re going to be able to see is a Decker whose End Day would’ve been worse without this new friend who forced him to take his life into his own hands.

But waiting until it’s your End Day to start living means you won’t have time to do it all. Your life will be divided into firsts and lasts and nevers.

It goes to show that even on your way out, there’s still time to let people in.

Parents not kicking you out of your home because you’re gay shouldn’t be luck. That should be the expectation when you bring a kid into this world. If you can’t do that, then fuck off, fuck off, fuck off. I’m done playing this shit where we got to be nice to people who hate on us for how we love. They’re the reasons why we got it so hard, why we lock away our feelings even though it means we’ll die without knowing the happiness that comes to others so easily.

“You’ve had my heart since the start, Valentino.”

And I’ve brought home a guy for the first time. He might even be the last.

My silence does some of the speaking for me.

This book tried to end me, but I’m here, YAY!

Same, Adam, same...