The low-commitment interaction of online conversation suited me. I could walk away when I wanted, be vague, silly, sad, provocative—it was all acceptable, meaning every version of myself had a set of people who would accept me. This was infinitely more compelling than real life, where I often felt that there was nowhere I could feel accepted, even in my most universal performance of self. I was grieving for people who had never even accepted my truest self. Though it is a foreign object in my programming now, I remember each shameful contortion of myself on behalf of someone who did not love
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