No, he said. I’m not married. Would it have mattered if I was? I wanted to tell him yes, of course it would have mattered, that I wouldn’t be there in his bed, but I no longer knew if that was true. People acted selfishly, betrayed and abandoned one another—that was common. I’d never done anything truly bad or transgressive, but I worried this was not because of a strong moral foundation or sense of virtue. I was no better than anyone else, I feared. It was not that I lacked those kinds of desires, but I was afraid that if I acted on them, they would undo me. In a world without boundaries, I
...more
