“When I was young, I went to Boy Scout camp, and this older kid dared me to climb to the top of a really big tree. I made it all the way up, but when I looked down, I realized how high I was in the air. I instantly had explosive diarrhea that shot out of the legholes in my shorts and rained down on my Boy Scout troop. And that was how I learned I’m afraid of heights. My nickname was ‘Thunderpoop’ from that day on.”
