My shoulders deflate. Why does it ache so bad hearing him in pain? He doesn’t hurt when I hurt. I grit my hair and pull, so frustrated with the effect Ryan has on me. It’s like a riptide—every time I think I’m going to pull myself out and get free, he’s right there to pull me back under. Drowning and suffocating me. It’s so exhausting fighting him. I just want to go back to where we were before I went to Shallow Hill. We were so fucking happy, and god, do I want that back again.
